Archetypes: The Sage.

Finally, we have reached the last Queen Archetype from the Mopop Queen Within exhibition! She is The Sage, and what a wonderful woman to finish with.

 She's the thinker, planner, risk-taker, and philosopher in all of us. She has wisdom, intelligence, and self-reflection and uses these powers to understand the world.

Her biggest fears are being ignored or tricked by others. This can lead to her weakness, which is the seductive lure of never-ending research.

The Sage cares about the environment and wants sustainable fabrics. Her clothing invites inquiry.

 What do you wear to invoke The Sage? What makes you feel wise and able to take risks?

It's okay to hide under the covers (or your desk) sometimes.

It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, at some point, you will freak out about your job (yes, even if it's a job you love). At some point, you will want to hide under your covers.


This is the story of how I learned to embrace my hiding urge.

I was having a crap day writing. Every ounce of self-confidence I had painstakingly built over the years drained out of me, leaving me shaken, sad, and very, very scared.

I sat in front of my computer, my arms wrapped around myself, and I was whispering, "I can't do this. I can't. I just want to hide under my desk and make this go away."

As you can imagine, this went on for quite some time.

Finally, a little calm voice in my brain said, "Well, go ahead. No one else is here. You can hide under your desk for a little while. Why not?"

Why not, indeed? So I did.

I slid off my chair, grabbed a soft blanket, and sat on the floor under my desk.

I'd never seen my office from this perspective.  The floor was actually clean (miracle!). The bottom of my desk made a nice little roof, protecting me from the sky that had been falling in my imagination. Almost immediately, my anxiety eased.

I don't know how long I sat there. I'm sure there is research showing that small spaces make us feel comforted, maybe something going back to our primitive hind-brains. All I know is that it stopped the flood of fear into my body and gave me a few moments of much needed peace.

That's when I realized that it is okay to look like a weirdo. It's okay to stop and protect yourself. And it's okay to hide once in a while.

Take a little break. Your brain and body will thank you.

And don't be afraid of looking like a weirdo.

My new office.

Me, daunted.

When I found out that I had nerve damage, I felt pretty lousy. I had to completely tear down how I worked and start from scratch. It was a daunting task.

So first, I had to order a sit/stand desk. I went through the reviews and chose The Ergo Depot's Jarvis Bamboo desk. Dig it folks! A motorized sit/stand for under $1000 dollars. And some seriously fast delivery, too.

Isn't it pretty?!

Next, I had to completely tear down my office. That was a mess and a half. I got the desk assembled and then The Charming Man and I made our office space bright, spacious, and much more usable.

 Check out my fantastic new layout! The desk is smaller, but I have more usable room.

I even cleaned the walls and rehung pictures and two of my three collage diplomas (the third fell behind a book case).

A few days later, I found my Muse in an antique shop -

A Minoan snake goddess from Knossos, Crete.

All the Wikipedia goodness over here.

She looks very fierce, but also very patient.

Lessons in Ergonomics.

Not *my* elbow, though.

So, yeah. That bad ergo thing had really done a number on my body. In the past, I've had sore wrists, Olecranan Bursitis (aka Popeye Elbow. Very attractive.), and now, damage to the nerves descending from my sacrum.

So let's avoid all of this pain, irritation, and general slow-down. Here's what we do.

Grab a good image from the web with the all the proper angles for your joints.

Doesn't she look comfy and happy?

Here's a pro tip - don't try to adjust all these things on your own. Have someone else help you! There's no way you can tell if your knees are at a 90 degree angle by yourself. Not even with that beat up protractor you still have from high school Geometry. Make some other sucker use that horrible thing.


Can you tell I wasn't so great at geometry?

I just got a sit/stand desk. Here's the info for that.

A standing desk can be crazy comfy, but it will mess up your hand writing. Next week, what my desk looks like now!

Self-love and The Beauty Myth.

Naomi Wolf

I was doing some wandering in my old files and found these words of wisdom from Naomi Wolf, from The Beauty Myth.

***

            Can there be a pro-woman definition of beauty? Absolutely. What has been missing is play. The beauty myth is harmful and pompous and grave because so much, too much, depends on it. The pleasure of playfulness is that it doesn’t matter. Once you play for stakes of any amount, the game has become a war game, or compulsive gambling. In the myth, it has been a game for life, for questionable love, for desperate and dishonest sexuality, and without the choice not to play by alien rules.  No choice, no free will; no levity, no real game.

 

          But we can imagine, to save ourselves, a life in the body that is not value-laden; a masquerade, a voluntary theatricality that emerges from abundant self-love. A pro-woman redefinition of beauty reflects our redefinitions of what power is. Who says we need a hierarchy? Where I see beauty may not be where you do. Some people look more desirable to me than they do to you. So what? My perception has no authority over yours. Why should beauty be exclusive? 

Admiration can include so much. Why is rareness impressive? The high value of rareness is a masculine concept, having more to do with capitalism than with lust. What is the fun in wanting the most what cannot be found? Children, in contrast, are common as dirt, but they are highly valued and regarded as beautiful.

  

        How might women act beyond the myth? Who can say? Maybe we will let our bodies wax and wane, enjoying the variations on a theme, and avoid pain because when something hurts us it begins to look ugly to us. Maybe we will adorn ourselves with real delight, with the sense that we are gilding the lily. Maybe the less pain women inflict on their bodies, the more beautiful our bodies will look to us. Perhaps we will forget to elicit admiration from strangers, and find we don’t miss it; perhaps we will await our older faces with anticipations, and be unable to see our bodies as a mass of imperfections, since there is nothing on us that is not precious. Maybe we won’t want to be the “after” anymore.

      

 How to begin? Let’s be shameless. Be greedy. Pursue pleasure. Avoid pain. Wear and touch and eat and drink what we feel like. Tolerate other women’s choices. Seek out the sex we want and fight fiercely against the sex we do not want. Choose our own causes. And once we break through and change the rules so our sense of our own beauty cannot be shaken, sing that beauty and dress it up and flaunt it and revel in it: In a sensual politics, female is beautiful.

          A woman-loving definition of beauty supplants desperation with play, narcissism with self-love, dismemberment with wholeness, absence with presence, stillness with animation. It admits radiance: light coming out of the face and the body, rather than a spotlight on the body, dimming the self. It is sexual, various, and surprising. We will be able to see it in others and not be frightened, and able at last to see it in ourselves.

   

 

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath, part 3

I don't know any people who can afford their own heated marble slab and bath attendants (If I did, I surely wouldn't be sitting at my computer right now. I'd be visiting them!).

The best any of us can do is fake the experience in our own bathrooms.

It does help if you have a bath tub, but even shower aficionados can enjoy Turkish-accented bathing.

If you want to spend money, here are some fabulous things to add to your bath.

Turkish Towels aka pestemals are thin towels made of silk, cotton, linen or a blend. They dry fast, they dry you off even when they are wet, and don't turn into huge, heavy, dripping messes when they get soaked. I love mine. I travel with them as they can be used as a sarong, a sheet, or a blanket. But if you are broke, your regular towels will work just fine. :)

A kese or exfoliating bath mitt is the cheapest bath luxury you will ever experience. It's my favorite way to scrub and it is better for your skin and the environment than plastic puffs. Your skin will feel as soft as a baby's when you use a kese. This is the most essential part of faking a Turkish bath on your own.

The dipping bowl adds a sense of real luxury to your bath. Just dip the bowl in the water and pour it over your head or your limbs or your body. The cascade will still your mind and soothe your body. Yes, you can use a plain ol' bowl for this. Just don't use anything glass! Broken glass is not pleasurable under any circumstances.

What do you add to your bathing routines to increase your pleasure?

Fortune Cookies to the Rescue!

Like all authors, I keep a quote file. For today, I'm sharing a bunch of fortunes that I have saved.

Why fortune cookies? Well, I'm in the middle of a love scene for my work in progress, Curse of the Spider Woman, and I can't think of anything more creative. Sorry!

Pull the universe inside you. Make it your own.

The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.

Your enthusiasm inspires people.

Your sparkle will never fade.

Lastly:

Smile if you like this fortune cookie.

Lunch with 10 Awesome People: The first response!

Mel and his late wife, Anne Bancroft

I just got the most awesome rejection letter from... *drum roll* ...Mel Brooks and his assistant, Shelby Van Vliet.

I'm thrilled that someone actually read my letter and I got a response. 

Poor Mel is too busy to write me personally, but he thanked me for my kind words and kinder invitation.

Mel! Take a vacation now and again!

Just who *is* The Muse?

The reality of The Muse.

From the adult comic Oglaf.

Cool stuff at my desk: Part Seven

I am so ready if I need to bring a mini disco ball to a party!

Cool stuff at my desk, part six.

For the days I need an extra brain.  

I had to correct its grammar. Think original? Really???

 

Dracula's Secret, Book One. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula's Desires, Book Two. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula Unleashed, Book Three. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a Chapter!

The rise of cool stuff at my desk.

 

 My jade magnifying glass and a beautiful statement for my nervous mind.

Tranquility has no boundaries.

Dracula's Secret, Book One. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula's Desires, Book Two. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula Unleashed, Book Three. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a Chapter!

Cool stuff at my desk rides again!

The text reads:
This creature is a performance organist. Recently he feels that he has exhausted his repertoire of Romantic compositions. He would like to be adopted into an American home in order to properly learn the culture of jazz. He feels the jazz organ is a highly neglected genre and nees some filling out. His favorite classical composer if Bromanavich.

Ain't he a cutie!

 

Dracula's Secret, Book One. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula's Desires, Book Two. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a chapter!

Dracula Unleashed, Book Three. At Amazon. At Barnes and Noble.
Check out a Chapter!

Son of Cool Stuff on my Desk.

 Is there anything left to say?

Impossible you say? Nothing is impossible when you work for the circus.

Dracula's Desires now available in paperback!!

Pardon me as I engage in shameless self promotion - Dracula's Desires, Book Two of the Blood Wings series is now out as a paperback!

Links:
Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble


And don't forget that Book One, Dracula's Secret, is also available in paperback, too!




Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble

Kicking my own butt.

I always try to find cool music to lift me up and get my booty shaking in my chair. Here's my latest obsession:

(link to video HERE if it doesn't show up)

This song makes me not hate bagpipes!

Another attempt at a video in a post.

Well, my last post didn't quite come through the video attached, so I'm going to try again.

I was walking home from my favorite coffee shop (Insomnia Coffee, for all locals). I was in a pretty good mood and as I walked along, I started to sing one of my mother's favorite songs.

I hope you all swing on stars today. :)

A very important update.

Summer is a'coming, and it is  time to talk about getting ourselves ready for the beach - including that all important Bikini Body. Follow Melissa Fabello's easy three step rules for summer fun.

(Warning, some bad language at the end)




Dracula's Secret, Blood Wings #1
Dracula's Desires, Blood Wings #2
Dracula Unleashed, Blood Wings #3,

The Best of....

Guess What! This blog is FOUR YEARS OLD! It's hard to believe, but I've been attempting to make sense on the Internet for that long. To celebrate, I'm going to run a few of my 'Greatest Hits'.

Sit back, grab a beverage and enjoy our thrilling ride through yesterday.

From February 10, 2009, The Care and Feeding of an Author.

It's a sad fact that I have to learn a lesson many times before I truly get it (I guess that makes me normal, huh?!). And today, the lesson I learned again is what makes me the most productive.

Being relaxed, well-rested, pain-free, and generally patient with myself means I have a day that rocks hard. I'll compose and edit with great ease and pleasure. Writing is a joy to me and makes me feel amazing.

The minute I tense up and start nagging myself at how much I need to get done and how lazy I am and how much I suck....

Well, let's just say I'm better off going back to bed and calling it a done day.

So to this end, I do a wide number of things to put myself in the best possible place.

I work out five days a week (don't get too excited about this, somehow I'm still a super curvy girl). I give myself permission to take naps.

The hardest thing, though, is to remember that writing is not just Butt in Chair, Fingers on Keyboard. Everything feeds that fire - reading, watching movies, doing research, even taking a long, hot, scented bath - fuels the writer.

Nagging? Not such a good motivator.

Pleasure? The best motivator ever.

What are your pleasures? What motivates you?

****

Dracula's Secret, Blood Wings #1
Dracula's Desires, Blood Wings #2
Dracula Unleashed, Blood Wings #3, to be released March 21, 2013

Working for a Living: Women in the Arts III

Today's Woman in the Arts is Master Dancer, Saqra of Kent, Washington.


Voted "Best Kept Secret of 2005" and "Instructor of the Year 2008" by Zaghareet Magazine, Saqra has over thirty years of experience as a teacher, choreographer, and festival producer. The depth and breadth of her knowledge on Middle Easter dance history and folklore is unmatched.

1.    What is the name of your business and what do you tell other people you do? (such as author, teacher, designer)

Saqra -- Bellydance Performer & Instructor

2.    When did you know it was time to stop treating your art as a hobby and start it as a career?

I treated it like a career from the beginning, but I found it necessary to run two full-time businesses at the same time to be able to afford to do it.

3. What are some of the aspects of your job that people don’t see? For example, most people don’t understand how much marketing is done by the authors themselves instead of a publisher, and most audience members don’t see how costumes and props are designed/chosen.

The constant networking, glad handing, playing nice, and doing your best to be friendly to absolutely everyone no matter your mood or beliefs ... people definitely don't see that. They can guess at the practice... creating performances from costuming to execution... junk like accounting, but they never realize how important it is to network.

A decent dancer with a great network will stomp the heck out of a magnificent dancer without one, career-wise.

4. Who inspired/inspires you on those inevitable rough days?

Jim Beam. Totally KIDDING!

I really just dig deep.... I know I made this bed so I better get my butt out of it and do something. I CHOSE this. But my family was in business and I've been around small businesses all my life. You can waste a little bit of time whining, but then you have to go do something about what you are complaining about.

It would be nice to have someone to look up to and be inspired, but most of the people I know have eventually given up. My stubbornness makes me get up and look at what other are doing and try and out-think them.

  This question is a chance to meander or talk in greater depth if you’d like. Here you can talk about what hobbies you pursue, how you refresh your well of ideas, what you would recommend to other women interested in a career in the arts, or just anything you'd like other people to know.

If you want a career in the arts you better be ready to not be constantly praised, appreciated, considered the best, or wealthy. You better be ready to be criticized because the value of the arts are subjective. And around the corner is someone with a chip on their shoulder and the belief that only their way is the right one.

A career in the arts is not a place for sissies... or for people who are just feeling compelled to express themselves. A career is a BUSINESS.