My top five feminist books.

These are books that I read to keep myself going while living in a patriarchy.

1. Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller

    This book is not a quick undertaking. It is brutal, honest, and extraordinarily painful. Do not read it all at once for it is a harrowing read. If you read the reviews for the book, though, you will see many  examples of what was later labeled as #notallmen.

2. How to Suppress  Women's Writing by Joanna Russ 

    My first foray into inter-sectional feminism, the late Russ unearths all the fallacies that people drag out to minimize women's creations. 

3. Every single book by Dr. Fatima Mernissi. The late Mernissi was a Moroccan sociologist, feminist, and brilliant writer. Her work explores many of the fallacies of Islamic history and women's rights.

4. The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor. One of the finest examples of intersectional feminism, this book lays the groundwork for a more just society.

5. Afrofuturism: the world of Black sci-fi and fantasy by Ytasha L Womack. This book taught me so much the much under-represented Black experience in science fiction and fantasy. It is hopeful, exciting, and makes you want to write better books.

A few more excellent books and authors:

The Explorer's Guide to Planet Orgasm by Annie Sprinkle, PhD

Feminist Fight Club: An office survival manual for a sexist workplace by Jessica Bennet.  I really like resources that give women "boots on the ground", real life suggestions on how to deal with our daily stressors. 

Everything by Jean Shinoda Bolen

Everything by Dale Spender

The Survivor's Guide to Sex by Staci Haines

Everything by Susie Bright

 

Mental Health in a time of pandemic; Part IV

The last in a series on dealing with the Covid19 isolation!

Stay Grounded

Pandemics are naturally anxiety-producing. This is something that is going to affect millions of people, and there is no clear message about the future and when things will get back to normal. However, there are some things to consider when thinking the worst and feeling overwhelmed by the circumstances.

-          Unplug from the 24/7 COVID-19 reporting. In order to stay grounded, it’s important to limit exposure to the constant news cycle that discusses this and only this. Be sure to stay on the lookout for important announcements, but check in with the news once a day rather than have it on constantly. This also includes searching for COVID-related stories, reading articles online, and getting caught up in social media.

-          While it feels like there is a lot out of our control, we do have control over our actions and how we view things. Choose to focus on what you CAN control. There is a lot of change and also uncertainty occurring right now, which is notoriously scary for us. There are likely a number of worried thoughts running through our minds about having to stay home, not having enough resources, getting sick, and things closing. Remember:

o   You greatly minimize your chance of getting sick if you keep physical distance from others, clean surfaces, and wash your hands thoroughly.

o   You have likely gone to the store or ordered things online in preparation, so you are able to use your items wisely and have everything you truly need for the next week or so.

o   While businesses and leisure activities are shut down, essential places, like grocery stores, hospitals, and pharmacies are open and provide necessary resources – you will be able to access them.

-          Psychologists know how anxiety-producing this time can be, so some have produced podcasts about ways to manage stress and anxiety during this time. Yale psychologist, Dr. Laurie Santos has a podcast, “The Happiness Lab,” where she has two COVID-19 specific podcasts about things we can do to decrease stress and anxiety. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/id1474245040?fbclid=IwAR3qG8CC6H8CLLJrsHr4wgA8fYQGkLzR0IwmzEr_0HReDc1zXuYMzLBjGR0

-          Seek out professional resources, such as therapy for additional support. A lot of therapists are transitioning to telehealth services. If you have insurance, most likely, there is an in-network provider currently accepting new clients via telehealth (phone or video chat sessions). For those without insurance, there are also resources that are sliding scale, ranging from $20-$60 per session.

o   Open Path https://openpathcollective.org/client/

o   Clear water Counseling http://clearwatercounselingchicago.com/

o   Better Help https://www.betterhelp.com/

 

Working for a Living: Women in the Arts III

Today's Woman in the Arts is Master Dancer, Saqra of Kent, Washington.


Voted "Best Kept Secret of 2005" and "Instructor of the Year 2008" by Zaghareet Magazine, Saqra has over thirty years of experience as a teacher, choreographer, and festival producer. The depth and breadth of her knowledge on Middle Easter dance history and folklore is unmatched.

1.    What is the name of your business and what do you tell other people you do? (such as author, teacher, designer)

Saqra -- Bellydance Performer & Instructor

2.    When did you know it was time to stop treating your art as a hobby and start it as a career?

I treated it like a career from the beginning, but I found it necessary to run two full-time businesses at the same time to be able to afford to do it.

3. What are some of the aspects of your job that people don’t see? For example, most people don’t understand how much marketing is done by the authors themselves instead of a publisher, and most audience members don’t see how costumes and props are designed/chosen.

The constant networking, glad handing, playing nice, and doing your best to be friendly to absolutely everyone no matter your mood or beliefs ... people definitely don't see that. They can guess at the practice... creating performances from costuming to execution... junk like accounting, but they never realize how important it is to network.

A decent dancer with a great network will stomp the heck out of a magnificent dancer without one, career-wise.

4. Who inspired/inspires you on those inevitable rough days?

Jim Beam. Totally KIDDING!

I really just dig deep.... I know I made this bed so I better get my butt out of it and do something. I CHOSE this. But my family was in business and I've been around small businesses all my life. You can waste a little bit of time whining, but then you have to go do something about what you are complaining about.

It would be nice to have someone to look up to and be inspired, but most of the people I know have eventually given up. My stubbornness makes me get up and look at what other are doing and try and out-think them.

  This question is a chance to meander or talk in greater depth if you’d like. Here you can talk about what hobbies you pursue, how you refresh your well of ideas, what you would recommend to other women interested in a career in the arts, or just anything you'd like other people to know.

If you want a career in the arts you better be ready to not be constantly praised, appreciated, considered the best, or wealthy. You better be ready to be criticized because the value of the arts are subjective. And around the corner is someone with a chip on their shoulder and the belief that only their way is the right one.

A career in the arts is not a place for sissies... or for people who are just feeling compelled to express themselves. A career is a BUSINESS.

Advice to men, from a romance writer.

I'm a romance writer. This means I am a student of interactions between people- especially interactions that involve sexual or romantic tension.

Basically, the above is a nice way to say that I  spend a lot of time watching men.

While I'm watching men, I study their body language, the way they talk, the way they move, and how they present themselves.*

If it is true that men think of sex every seven seconds,  they certainly do not dress in a way that invites the female to think sexy thoughts about them. And forget getting them interested to approach the guy!

When I've been out and about, I've seen far too many heterosexual couples out on a date where the lady has put on a flattering outfit, worn stylish jewelry and pretty shoes, and applied makeup, while the gentleman (and I'm using the term loosely here) looks like he has just finished mowing the lawn in his flip flops, droopy shorts, and baseball cap.

Let me tell you that under these circumstances, the ladies never displayed any preening behaviors, or exhibited attraction in her body language. None of them were impressed.

For the next few days, I will present a romance writer's guide to male style. After all, I want to use you as inspiration for a romance hero!

*(If you are a guy and you see an extra-curvy, middle-aged [yet glamorous] woman staring at you, then taking notes, square your shoulders, spread your legs a little and give me a wink. I promise I'll blush).

Dare to be Average, part two

"Ok, Ms. Smarty-Pants," I hear you saying, "How exactly does Dare to be Average work? If I don't push myself to succeed, I'd spend my time in slothful idleness, surrounded by clutter, and I'd never get anything done. This is what works for me."

Fair enough. Here's the scoop- I know exactly what you mean by "needing that motivation". Self castigation is a time-honored way of getting yourself off your duff.

The problem? Fear and self-loathing aren't effective long term motivators. A bit of self disgust might work now and again, but quite simply, it is not sustainable.

Calling yourself names (lazy, fat, disgusting, etc.) hurts more than it helps. I know that I work very poorly for a person who belittles, insults, and castigates me. In fact, I will actively avoid working for that person.

So why am I trying to motivate myself that way?

If I look at a project that I am resisting (like writing this blog post - I so did not want to do it), I realize that it is because I am using negative motivators. By thinking, "Fine. I will write an average blog post", I am freed. I can play, draft, and eventually post.

It's not a world shaking post, but it is here, it's done, and I got my point across. If I am for average as opposed to HEARTBREAKING, EARTHSHAKING, SUPER GENIUS, GUT-WRENCHING TRUTH, I have a much better chance of actually finishing something.

Next time you find yourself frozen with perfectionism, take a deep breath. Think, "Fine. Let's aim for average and see what happens."

I bet you'll surprise yourself.

Oh, YUM.

Today, The Flaming Chef and I wandered downtown Portland before settling in to write. Quite by impulse, we stopped by Verdun Fine Chocolate & Gifts.

The sweets here were AMAZING. Since I cannot share smell nor taste here on the Web, I can only share my pictures.

This is their drinking chocolate. Unlike other drinking chocolates I have experienced, this is super rich and thick, nearly syrupy, with lovely butter and vanilla undertones. Incredibly fragrant, and highly satisfying. I licked my lips for half an hour after drinking it.

Their classy and stylish displays do not do justice to their smooth, exotic confections.

The Flaming Chef enjoying his drinking chocolate. We bought some of their sweets to take home to our husbands. The Charming Man was thrilled with his treat!

The Houdroge Family owns Verdun Chocolates. Can we talk about classy and talented folks? They were incredibly nice.


I can't recommend this place enough!

Story Basics, Part II

In the endless quest to understand your characters, I'm revisiting a post I did a couple of years ago. One of the most useful tools in a writer's toolbox is an exercise called GMC.
 

For each of your main characters, you determine their Goal, Motivation, and Conflict. You come up with with a basic description of their personality (which for me is incredibly difficult), a Tagline (which could be lessons she needs to learn, or perhaps his personal motto), and then, you start in on determining what they want, what makes them want it, and what is keeping them from achieving their goals.

The amazing Debra Dixon came up with this shorthand in her amazing book called (oddly enough), Goal, Motivation & Conflict: The Building Blocks of Good Fiction.

One hint before you dive in - when you are working on this exercise, make sure your character's external goal is a concrete one. "World Peace" is a nice goal, but it's completely undo-able. Make it something that he can attain. Instead of World Peace, write "Obliterate X Terrorist Cell" or "Get President to sign X Peace Treaty on time and alive". For something less Earth shaking, try, "Buy childhood dream home" or "Open coffee shop in six weeks". What kind of story you have often depends on the antagonist's Goal.

For example, let me show you one of the GMC charts that Ms. Dixon uses in the book - Rick Blaine from Casablanca.

Rick Blaine
Description: Cynical Loner
Tagline: (lessons he needs to learn)
One person can make a difference in this world
Women in war must make desperate choices (think of the newlywed)



Goals: (what he wants)
External

1. Keep bar open
2. Punish Ilsa
3. Get Ilsa and Victor on that plane

Internal

1. Regain the love he had in Paris
2. To do what's right in the world

Motivation: (because)
External

1. Needs money and people depend on him
2. Because she left him in Paris
3. Insure her safety

Internal

1. The pain of losing Ilsa has never gone away
2. Daily, he sees what war is doing to people around him

Conflict (but)
External

1. The French Prefect has all the power
2. Punishing her puts her in more danger
3. Victor has been put in jail

Internal

1. Ilsa is married
2. He must put aside his own happiness

Looks easy, doesn't it?

It's actually a difficult chart to fill out because you are constantly learning more about your characters and your story. The big part of a good character arc is discovering how their GMCs change from the beginning of the story to the end.

My favorite titles.

I wanted to talk about my favorite books on writing. Every author has her go-to's for inspiration and help, and here are mine.

How can one live without Joanna Russ's How to Suppress Women's Writing?

People love to denigrate our genre. This book gives an insightful and quirky look at how much and how little attitudes towards women's words have changed. It taught me just what kinds of horrible internalized sexism colored what I wrote, how I viewed other women, and worst of all, what I did to myself.



Making a Literary Life by Elizabeth See.
A far greater writer than I'll ever be says this:

If everyone who wants to be a writer would read this book there would be many more good writers, many more happy writers, and editors would be so overwhelmed by sweetness they would accept many more good books. So what are you waiting for? Read it! Ursula K. Le Guin

Write Away by Elizabeth George.
From Publisher's Weekly:

Here's a useful book for the novice writer battling the fears and insecurities that attend when she contemplates her first novel....George illustrates her points with passages from both her ownworks and those of numerous writers she admires (Martin Cruz Smith,Barbara Kingsolver, Louise Erdrich, Michael Dorris), this remains more of a how-I-do-it book than a how-to-do-it book. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Unlike PW, I'll say that this book is good even for experienced writers. I love her examples - they illustrate her points brilliantly.


I feel that the most important book on my shelf remains Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller. I'm not going to kid you - this is a painful and devastating book, whether you have been a victim of sexual assault or not. But it endlessly reminds me of what I feel is the great gift that romance gives every reader: That her pleasure is central to life, that her consent should never dismissed or belittled, and that each of us deserves to be heard.

Writers helping each other.

At a previous Romance Writers of America conference, Renee Ryan had presented a workshop on layering. For those not obsessed with writing, that's the process of taking your draft and adding all those things that make a book memorable. Nancy really like the recording, emailed Renee, and got her notes from the workshop. Then she shared them with me.

Here is Renee Ryan's layering process:

1. Finish your first draft. This can be a draft of a scene, a chapter, or even your whole book.
2. Layer in movement - character movement, the world around them.
3. Layer in the five senses
4. Layer in the setting - after all, the environment is a character in and of itself
5. Layer in the emotion
6. Layer in the dialog
7. Layer in the backstory
8. Layer in the sexual tension
9. (and I added this one) Layer in the theme

I've been trying this for the last few days, and I am thrilled! Breaking down the process this way has really helped my revisions, especially after all the cutting I've done. 

Jennifer Crusie rocks my socks.

For those who aren't familiar with the romance genre, a little back story.

Here's part of what Wikipedia says about Ms. Crusie:

Crusie was graduated from Wapakoneta High School, and then earned a bachelor's degree in Art Education from Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio.^[1] She has two Master's degrees. For her first, from Wright State University in Professional Writing and Women's Literature,^[1] Crusie wrote a thesis on the role of women in mystery fiction.^[2] Her second master's degree is an MFA in Fiction from Ohio State University.^[1] She has also completed work towards a Ph.D. in feminist criticism and nineteenth century British and American literature at Ohio State University.

So we know we're dealing with a driven, intelligent woman who loves romance and who can discourse intelligently on the themes and motifs of romance fiction. On her website, Ms. Crusie discusses her writing process and analysis of genre fiction.


I have to recommend this one, if only cheer about someone mentioning V. Propp's and Claud Levi-Strauss' theories on literature and myth.

This Is Not Your Mother's Cinderella: The Romance Novel as Feminist Fairy Tale.

Another question for the ages.

Men's underwear - what is the sexiest -

Boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, or none?

I never know what kind of undies to put my heroes in.

Lazy Saturday morning

Today seems like a good day to talk about what books I think every writer should have. We all have our favorites, so why not share mine? ;)

If you only have one book on your shelf, make it Getting Things Done by David Allen. Too many people suffer from feeling overwhelmed by their dreams, wishes, and to-do lists. GTD (as the hipsters put it) shows you the way to feeling calm, creative, and on top of your game. If you don't have it, buy it, get it from the library, borrow it. It's a quick but intense read, and it'll make you much happier.

My next few are more writer-based.

I adore Carolyn See's Making a Literary Life. Her section on dealing with rejection should be required reading for every single person who yearns to write. No where else have I seen such down-to-earth and funny insights into why people say no, and how to cope with it.

A tacky title, but an awesome book is Write Away by Elizabeth George. I really like her comments on research, setting (my weakness), and brainstorming on her characters. It saved me a lot of hassle.

Old-school is awesome, so I suggest kicking it with Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande. She debunks the myth of someone stealing your ideas, tells you how to get started, and gives wonderful suggestions for feeding your head.

What do you keep on your reference shelf?

Remember what the Dormouse said...

Feed your head!

(sorry about the earworm, there, but it had to be done)

Something I always forget, but is of vital necessity - intellectual stimulation is the life-blood of writers and other artists. When I haven't seen art, listened to live music, or done any of those other life-affirming things, I have a very very difficult time writing.

Yesterday, I checked out the MC Escher exhibit at the Portland Art Museum. It was brilliant and eye opening.

The show had study after study for his pieces, original lithographs, and even the plates he used for his work.

What did I learn?

That art takes time. And, despite my natural tendency towards impatience, it is supposed to take time.

What a relief!

Inspiration! Imitation!

Elizabeth Gilbert on writing, creativity, and surviving fear.

I have a feeling I'm going to be looking at this video a lot. :)

Revisions

I'm revising Dracula's Secret (again). The first draft was a rambling, shambling monster with no clear plot or idea where I was going. I had some thoughts that I should try working from the seat of my pants.

Which is why I am now on my fourth set of revisions. *grin*

One of the most useful tools in a writer's toolbox is a little exercise called GMC.

For each of your main characters, you determine their Goal, Motivation, and Conflict.

The amazing Debra Dixon came up with this shorthand in her amazing book called (oddly enough), Goal, Motivation & Conflict: The Building Blocks of Good Fiction.

Let me show you one of the GMC charts that Ms. Dixon uses in the book - Rick Blaine from Casablanca.

Rick Blaine
Description: Cynical Loner
Tagline: (lessons he needs to learn)
One person can make a difference in this world
Women in war must make desperate choices (think of the newlywed)

Goals: (what he wants)
External

1. Keep bar open
2. Punish Ilsa
3. Get Ilsa and Victor on that plane

Internal

1. Regain the love he had in Paris
2. To do what's right in the world

Motivation: (because)
External

1. Needs money and people depend on him
2. Because she left him in Paris
3. Insure her safety
   

Internal

1. The pain of losing Ilsa has never gone away
2. Daily, he sees what war is doing to people around him

Conflict (but)
External

1. The French Prefect has all the power
2. Punishing her puts her in more danger
3. Victor has been put in jail

Internal

1. Ilsa is married
2. He must put aside his own happiness

Looks easy, doesn't it?

It's actually a difficult chart to fill out because you are constantly learning more about your characters and your story. I just did my fifth GMC for my leading characters. *facepalm*

But every time I do it, I learn something more. If I let it, it's exhilarating.

Surrounding yourself with heroes.

Books on writing are full of advice - some of it life-changing. Some are, how do I say this nicely?

Utter rubbish.

And sometimes, advice starts as one and turns into the other.

For example, when women try to lose weight, they are told to paste a picture of a slim person on the inside of their cupboard or on their refrigerator. I have always found this to be nasty, belittling, and condescending - yet another way of telling women that they are not beautiful and they will never measure up.

But we all need heroes. That's why we write, that's why we watch movies/TV, that's why we read. Everyone needs someone to show us that what we want is possible and how to get there.

So this week, I found pictures of my creative heroes and I've seeded them around my writing stations.

Obviously, I have a love for mythology and for the band Queen. Freddie, Brian, Roger, and John now live in glorious color on my laptop's wallpaper. Their music, politics, and courage never fail to lift me up when I'm feeling sluggish or stuck.

Jayne Ann Krentz, a wonderful best-selling author (and former librarian with a background in history!) is another of my heroes. I've met her in person a few times and she is down to earth, intelligent, and has great insights on our craft. If you do not own Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, you are shorting yourself some great discussion on Romance!

Emma Holly writes beautifully sexy and emotional fiction.

I've got lots. Who inspires you?

Poetry and its relationship with fiction.

Just like listening to live music or observing paintings, poetry fuels my writing in a potent but indirect way.

I like poetry that explores an emotion or situation with very little meandering. Fiction lets you ramble a little bit, get in-depth thinking.

Poetry helps me keep on track and not be afraid of uncomfortable topics.

Some of my favorite poetry books are:

Beautiful Signor by Cyrus Cassells (a lush and gorgeous romance between two men in Italy)

100 Love Sonnets
and
Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon by Pablo Neruda(anything by Neruda, really. I think I'd read the man's grocery list)

Hafiz and Rumi, naturally.

And the best book about poetry is

How to read a poem and fall in love with poetry by Edward Hirsch. Chapter Eight, Poetry and History: Polish Poetry after the End of the World, is some of the greatest writing ever done on literature.

Russian poet Anna Akhmatova wrote this snippet before her epic poem "Requiem".

In the terrible years of the Yezhov terror I spent seventeen months waiting in line outside the prison in Leningrad. One day, somebody in the crowd identified me. Standing behind me was a woman, with lips blue from the cold, who had, of course, never heard me called by name before. Now she started out of the torpor common to us all and asked me in a whisper (everyone whispered there):
"Can you describe this?"
And I said: "I can."
Then something like a smile passed fleetingly over what has once been her face.

This is what poetry does for us.