YES!!

I made my word goal for the year!! So even though I still have some scenes to write and some tweaking to do, I have done it!!

I will now celebrate the year's end with a pure heart. :)

I admit it.

I'm writing and not blogging. So for your amusement, I present Very Expensive and Impractical Shoes from my very favorite fashion blog, Manolo's Shoe Blog.

Enjoy The Manolo's fabulous wit and gorgeous taste.

Only one thing to say this time of year...

Peace on earth.

Goodwill to everyone.

I haz brains nao?

Sorry for the LOLCat speak, but some days just call for it.

Something writers don't usually talk about is that December is a very difficult month to get any work done. It's not only the usual shopping/winter weather/holiday party circuit, either.

There's something about December that makes working a challenge. For some people, it's children being on vacation. For some, it is dealing with the heartbreak and losses of the previous year.

No matter what it is, if you are struggling in December, give yourself some slack. January will soon be here. You will have your rhythm back and the work will flow.

Lower brain functions are go?

I'm fighting a cold, so I've got nothing for y'all today.

Riding the Quote Train.

The most powerful myths are about extremity. They force us to go beyond our experience. There are moments when we all, in one way or another, have to go to place we have never seen, and do what we have never done before. (p. 3)

[Myth] enables us to place our lives in a larger setting that reveals an underlying pattern and gives us a sense that against all the depressive and chaotic evidence to the contrary, life had meaning and value.

A Short History of Myth by Karen Armstrong.

And on the other hand..

Why can't I have the yummy feelings that writing gives me AND all sorts of happy rewards?

Quote of the Moment.

Sometimes, other people just say it best. Here's Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird.

I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. The thing you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing- turns out to be the best part. It's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.

Sometimes I need to be reminded of this.

*sigh*

Ok. I lied.

I am depressed about cutting those twelve pages.

I know it's the right thing. I know the book will be stronger. But damn, that was a cute scene. It even had a sea serpent.

Ah, writing.

I'm glad I like it better than anything else I've done.

Otherwise, I would be very depressed after cutting those 12 pages and discovering I needed to add three completely new scenes to a manuscript I thought was finished.

But really? That's part of the fun.

*wince*

Well, I was doing great until I realized I had to cut twelve pages of utter nonsense. Now I have to do 25-30 words per page per day.

Still do-able though!

Art tracker.

I've set a goal of finishing my manuscript by the end of the month. Basically, I have to revise 20 pages a day (working 5 days a week) to get to my word count.

I'll be keeping track here. Root for me!

A picture is worth a thousand words....

I'm feeling a bit short of words today, so here's a snapshot of a corner of my office. :)

Thought for the day.

What would you do if you believed your focused attention was a precious resource?

Sustained focus is renewable, but it is not infinite during the course of the day. How would you treat yourself if you knew that ?

I think I'd be a lot kinder to myself about not being able to write for eight hours on end.

And you?

Who do you base your characters on?

Of course, every character in a story has her or his roots in the writer's own psyche. I once had a dream about a serial killer who carved mathematical equations into his victims' eyelids. I don't want to think too closely about what that says about me.

(I've never done anything with that character, so if you want him, feel free!)

I also pick up names and quirks from my friends. One of my exes had a last name that meant "storm". So I gave a character the last name of Tempesta.

One of my dear friends is named Coral. I based a character on her personality, and called that person Amber.

Yes, I tell my people when they make an appearance in a story. :)

How do you find your characters?

Ain't nothing but a party, y'all.

(Bonus points to anyone who knows that song quote!)

After all my passion (and typos) of yesterday, today seems a good day to celebrate and feel playful. Maybe make some new typos. ;)

This time of year is especially important for me to feel the playful. I have a mixed relationship to the holiday season. I don't like Christmas songs. I am not much of a shopper.

Instead, I have decided to create as much of a fun, light-hearted atmosphere as possible instead of stressing. This is not easy for me - I have advanced degrees in fretting/stressing/worrying/you name it.

This year, let's make December as fun as possible. :) Write something that you shouldn't, dance to silly pop music, watch this video a lot (Is it wrong of me to find these typeface geeks kinda attractive?), and generally find the fun.

Twilight, one last time.

(How funny is it that Lady Gaga's Bad Romance came on my Pandora channel just as I got started!)

Today, I'm going swipe ideas from one of my favorite books about romance - Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, edited by Jayne Ann Krentz.

Several themes emerge from the essays in this book. First is the one discussed a couple of days ago: Twilight and other romances are fantasies. To quote Krentz's introduction:

[T]he readers are no more confused about this fact, nor any more likely to use their reading as a substitute for action in the real world , than readers of [Robert] Ludlum, [Robert] Parker, [Dick] Frances, and [Anne] McCaffrey. (p. 5)

'Nuff said.

The second theme of the book is a shameless song of female empowerment. In a romance, the woman lives. How many times do women die in male action movies because she found a man attractive and acted on it? How many great female characters in literature are punished for daring to act on her own ideas?

Not only do the women live, all of them win. Again, Krentz:

With courage, intelligence, and gentleness, she brings the most dangerous creature on earth, the human male, to his knees. More than that, she forces him to acknowledge her power as a woman.

A cursory glance at the statistics of the causes of female death reveal the radical nature of these ideas.


Finally, for me, the most outrageous theme of romance (and Twilight) is the discussion of Male and Female. Long before Twilight came out, Laura Kinsale discussed the real truth of romance.

[For] a woman, a romance may be a working-through of her own interior conflicts and passions, her own 'maleness' if you will, that resists and resists giving in to what is desired about all, and yet feared about all, and then, after the decisive climax. arrives at a resolution, a choice that carries with it the relief and pleasure of internal harmony. (p. 39)

Long before Edward came along, Linda Barlow described the romantic hero. Sound familiar?

Dark and brooding, writhing inside with all the residual anguish of his shadowed past, world-weary and cynical, quick-tempered and prone to fits of guilt and depression. He is strong, virile, powerful, and lost. Adept at many things that carry with them the respect and admiration of the world (especially the world of other males), he is not fully competent in the arena in which women excel- the arena of his emotions, which are violently out of control.

Is this the sort of woman most women want? Of course not....[A]lmost from the beginning, I identified with the hero. I saw him as Self, not Other. And I dimly recognized him as one of the archetypical figures in my own inner landscape.

The romantic hero is not the feminine ideal of what a man should be. The romantic hero, in fact, is not a man at all. He is a split-off portion of the heroine's own psyche which will be reintegrated at the end of the book. (p. 49)

This is why Twilight is popular. We are endlessly attempting to claim and integrate our power. It's not about falling in love with the endless git that is Edward.

It is about understanding the parts of ourselves that are dark, angry, and dangerous.

Whew.

I've got one more post on Twilight on the runway and then NaBlogWriMo is done!

What do you all that? The endless blogging a success? A wincing nightmare of self-indulgent ranting? Weigh in!

In Defense of Twilight, even though I hate it; Part--Oh,who cares what part it is.

Just letting you know that, yep. Still hate Twilight. But I still much to say!

Related to my entry two days ago, this entire article treats girls like they are stupid. Except for points 13, 18, 19 and 20, which are actually funny.

Second, I think one of the things Twilight does do well is explore the beauty, intensity, and untamed nature of a girl's sexual awakening. I might roll my eyes at the overblown language when I read about Edward sparkling in the sun, but that's exactly how it feels. I'm about to be heterosexist for a while - forgive me.

When a girl looks at a guy's chest (ass, crotch, arms, hands, back - you get the idea) and gets her first nose full of hot testosterone, your entire being flips around. Trust me when I tell you that Bella's rhapsodizing about Edward's crystalline skin is pretty damn tame compared to the things girls think about when they discover just what that turns them on.

Fiction allows us to revisit the cathartic, life-changing moments of our existences. A woman's first flush of arousal is so amazing, so overwhelming, and so important that we read to reinforce all the lessons we learn from it. We get to find that wonderful, ripe, glorious feeling of sexuality, of power, of delight in our bodies, without the negative side effects of judgment, dissatisfaction, or shame.

I think reclaiming that moment of pure ownership of our senses is something all humans must do. The chills, the excitement, the way the hormones made you feel like champagne flowed through your veins instead of mere blood - the world needs more of that joyous feeling.

If you're a writer, go write some thing that makes you remember an awakening. If you express yourself in other ways, do that instead. If you are in love, tell that someone that you desire how maddening their scent is or the brush of their skin on yours makes you moan.

Reclaim that tension that Bella has discovered again for us.

Cheater's post

I ended up with a nasty computer virus today. My husband, The Charming Man, spent hours and hours getting me back up and running.

It's been a very long day.

Back on Track. And pissed off.

Ok, back to In Defense of Twilight, even though I hate it: Part Three.

As you may or may not know, I have a degree in Library and Information Science. Save the Dewey Decimal jokes - I've heard them all. We're going into the jungle of literary criticism today.

Library school gives you amazing perspective on popular culture. The criticisms aimed at Twilight for being misleading, wrong-headed, and a bad example to our youth have been fired at writing as far ranging as Harry Potter to E. B. White to the Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew to Tom Swift.

Yes, I'm serious.

Literary critics used to claim that reading these kinds of books as akin to feeding your child poison. After all, children are weak minded, you know.

To all the people who tell me that Twilight is going to tell women to fall for a gross, stalkery freak, I have one thing to say.

Women are not stupid.

Could it be possible that females are perfectly capable of discerning the difference between fantasy and reality??

When a young woman makes a poor choice in a mate, the example she's using comes from up close and personal observation of adults around her.

Not fictional characters.

If we honestly thought that women yearned for maltreatment, why don't we believe that every man reading a James Bond novel yearns to be shot, stabbed, tossed out of airplanes, dunked in arctic ice cold water, and have no emotional life to speak of?

Of course that is ridiculous - because we don't think men are stupid.

Why should we think our girls are stupid, impressionable, and helpless? Reading about Waif Bella does not turn a girl into a passive Waif. Reading about James Bond, the man with no sense of self-preservation, does not make a boy into a moron who thinks that getting shot is just business as usual.

Twilight (and romance) is popular because girls and women know it is fantasy. They get to experience what it is like to be passive Bella, or pretend they are dangerous Edward (more on that next time), or even learn how very wet the Pacific Northwest is.

What would the world look like if we believed that women were smart?

Caring for your instrument, part whatever.

While I was working out this morning, I came to the conclusion that even though I write with my hands, my bad knees have distracted me too long (like, since High School).

So I plan to call a physical therapist* after the holiday and see what can be done. If I don't blog about it, nag me to make sure I do it!

Oh, and

I hope you had a superb Thanksgiving. :)





*After many years of seeing a chiropractor for my headaches, I realized I wasn't getting better. I went to a physical therapist, got some amazing exercises, and now I have hardly any. And when I do get one, I know what to do!

Sidetrack: Examples of The Waif

The prototype of The Waif is, of course, Cinderella. Some say Sleeping Beauty was a Waif, but I always felt her passivity was born out of her family keeping her ignorant of her danger instead of teaching her how to save herself.

Other famous Waifs are:

Ilsa Laszlo in Casablanca
Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz
Juliet in Romeo and Juliet
Amanda in The Glass Menagerie

In Defense of Twilight, even though I hate it; Part Two

Today is the discussion of the Return of the Waif. *insert drum flourish here*

For anyone who is not as insane for archetypes as I am, here is quick introduction to The Waif from The Complete Writer's Guide to Heroes and Heroines by Cowden, LaFever, and Viders.

The Waif projects a child-like innocence, a soul-stirring susceptibility. She is naive, enigmatic, yet reslient. Everyone she meets wants to save her, but she can surprise people with her incredible inner strength and fortitude. She touches the vulnerable place deep inside all of us with her soft touch and wistful glance.... Her delicate fragility makes her an easy target. She always seems between a rock and hard place. She adapts to any situation she falls into without complaint. The Waif does not fight back; instead, she endures untold hardships untils she is rescued. (pg 76)

Bella is the Waif. Her purity is not merely her virginity, but also a sense of being unspoiled by greed, temper, or the cruelties of the world. She is also trusting and (more or less) kind. I personally find she is far too good of an example of the failings of the waif: impressionable, passive, insecure, and isolated. (pg. 77) As a Waif, Bella lets other people control her destiny, rather than pursuing her own interests. She's not even sure what her interests are.

Fairly obviously, the Waif has fallen out of favor with modern writers. I personally find it dull to write someone who refuses to act. But there is a reason why she is making a resurgence in literature.

The Waif appeals to the exhausted side of our personalities. The Waif rarely fights back or initiates action. Instead, she allows life to surprise her and take her where it goes.

Even the most motivated of self-starters get tired. There is something refreshing about letting go and allowing something or someone else to run your existence. And wouldn't it be restful to expect the best once in a while, rather than always anticipating the worst?

I think readers like Bella because everyone needs someone to take care of them every so often. It feels good to imagine taking your hands off the plow and letting another person till the soil.

I must admit, though, that I like it when a Waif decides to risk the blisters and dirt of her own labor.

I wonder if Bella ever will.

In defense of Twilight, even though I hate it: Part One

I have a lot of legitimate criticisms of Twilight. I read the first book, and never even tried any of the sequels. I have a strong disdain for passive heroines, and Bella is about as passive as it gets.

However, this is not about my baggage. It's about what makes this series resonate with so many people.

Let's talk about one aspect of Bella's passivity - namely, that you don't have to do anything to be considered worthy of love. You just have to be you.

We all seek to earn love - we get good grades (or bad grades), keep a clean house, save money, wear the right clothes and the right perfume, know all the outrageous sex tips, try to read someone's mind....

You get the picture.

But Bella is the object of Edward's obsession merely by sitting around, sleeping, and smelling really really good- all on her own. No special powers, no twisting herself into something she's not for approval, no Cinderella-type makeover to make someone notice her.

How powerful and hopeful of a message is that?!

You. Don't. Have. To. Earn. Love.

It's a radical thought in a society that tells women how they need to act to 'get a man'.

Twilight isn't my cup of tea, but it beats The Rules any day of the week.

No fear?

A dear friend of mine has characters and stories roaming her head. She wants, no, yearns to write.

Just like the rest of us, she is frightened.

Writing is scary stuff. Let's list a few of the things that can scare someone.

1. Rejection by publishers.
2. Rejection by agents.
3. Rejection by friends and family.
4. The possibility that you really DO suck.
5. The possibility that you might learn something about yourself that you didn't want to know. (I was pretty surprised that I wrote vampire stories. I wanted to write screw-ball comedies).
6. Bad reviews.
7. Good reviews.
8. Not getting published which leads to...
   
9. Feeling like you've wasted your time.
10. Not making money.

Not too shabby for about five minutes of thinking on what scares me, eh?

These fears are real. They stop people in their tracks every day. They even stop me from time to time.

I have no easy answers about how to not be afraid. In fact, these fears are important. You have to look at them and say, "Well. What if I do suck? What if my work does gets rejected from now until the end of time?"

The payoff might not be worth the pain. If so, then congratulate yourself, and realize that there are many other dreams waiting for you! Maybe you will find fulfillment in improv comedy or Linux open-source work.

Make your fears work for you.

What's the difference...

between not blogging because I have literally been away from my keyboard for the last two days (not even able to check my email!) and not blogging because I didn't feel like it??

The end result is the same, but it certainly feels different!

My brain is a strange place.

Just how would a totalitarian regime based on fun instead of fear operate???

Back in the saddle again.

I'll be honest- yesterday's post was a little bit of a cheat, but I'm back on track today.

I want to talk more about Getting Things Done. Here's a section of the back blurb:

David Allen's premise is simple: our productivity is directly proportional to our ability to relax.... From core principles to proven tricks, Getting Things Done can transform the way you work and live, showing you how to pick up the pace without wearing yourself down

I'll be honest. Before I read the book, that sounded like so much snake oil, thank you so very much. Then three things changed my mind.

On page 15 (of my copy, at least), he says:

Why Things are on Your Mind
Most often, the reason something is one your mind is that you want it to be different than it currently is, and yet:

• you haven't clarified exactly what the intended outcome is;
• you haven't decided what the very next physical action step is; and/or
• you haven't put reminders of the outcome and the action required in a system you trust.

Then, in Chapter Three (I love this chapter), Mr. Allen discusses two crucial and related points that just blew my mind the first time I read the book.

First, he talks about clarifying the purpose behind a project. For example:

It never hurts to ask the 'why' question. Almost anything you're currently doing can be enhanced and even galvanized by more scrutiny at this top level of focus. Why are you going to your next meeting? What's the purpose of your task? Why are you having friends over for a barbeque in the backyard? Why are you hiring a marketing director? Why do you have a budget?...

To know and be clear about the purpose of any activity are prime directives for clarity, creative development, and cooperation.

And then comes my very favorite part.

Here are three basic steps for developing an outcome/vision:

1. View the project from beyond the completion date
2. Envision "WILD SUCCESS"! (Suspend "Yeah, but...")
3. Capture features, aspects, qualities you imagine in place

How many people encourage you to envision not just success, but WILD SUCCESS? In a world where the most common reactions to someone's bold dream is, "How will you support yourself?" or "Grow up" or even "Get a haircut and get a real job", the mere act of seeing what your idea of greatness is will inspire and thrill you.

My WILD SUCCESS is not just about NYT Bestseller List (but believe me, that is right up there!). It's about sharing beauty, ideas, and making the world a better place, even in a very small way.

What is your WILD SUCCESS?

Place holder post

Sorry I missed blogging yesterday- I was immersed in the wonderful world of Saqra's First November Belly Dance Showcase.

I loved it. It was a wonderful way to kick off the holiday party season. More later!

Lazy Saturday morning

Today seems like a good day to talk about what books I think every writer should have. We all have our favorites, so why not share mine? ;)

If you only have one book on your shelf, make it Getting Things Done by David Allen. Too many people suffer from feeling overwhelmed by their dreams, wishes, and to-do lists. GTD (as the hipsters put it) shows you the way to feeling calm, creative, and on top of your game. If you don't have it, buy it, get it from the library, borrow it. It's a quick but intense read, and it'll make you much happier.

My next few are more writer-based.

I adore Carolyn See's Making a Literary Life. Her section on dealing with rejection should be required reading for every single person who yearns to write. No where else have I seen such down-to-earth and funny insights into why people say no, and how to cope with it.

A tacky title, but an awesome book is Write Away by Elizabeth George. I really like her comments on research, setting (my weakness), and brainstorming on her characters. It saved me a lot of hassle.

Old-school is awesome, so I suggest kicking it with Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande. She debunks the myth of someone stealing your ideas, tells you how to get started, and gives wonderful suggestions for feeding your head.

What do you keep on your reference shelf?

Well.

Some days, you just have to take a nap.

:)

I love deadlines!

Deadlines are another trick I use to get myself to work. I love them because I can then play the, "I am so superior!" card when I beat the deadline.

And when I make it right on time, I can say, "Damn, I'm good!"

The only downside is - I hate having to move my deadlines when things are going poorly.

Remember.

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the guns fell silent.

Tips and tricks.

Let's be honest. We all experience insecurity and fear about our writing. Everything from "It sucks", to "I suck" and everything in between.

It can paralyze an artist in a quagmire of self-loathing misery. Sometimes, though, it's possible to make a few steps out this nasty, leech-ridden, malaria-infested swamp

I call upon my 'tricks' to make it easier to find a shortcut. Here's few of my favorite tricks in no particular order, in a handy numbered list for quick reference. :)

1. Change writing locations. I'll write in the library, different rooms in the house (I'm writing this now on my second floor landing), a coffee-shop (Starbucks is a cliche for a reason, folks!), or even just go outside. Something about a different visual geography can shake me out of a funk.
2. Bribery is both functional and traditional. One of my critique partners says, "I don't need a lollipop every time I finish five pages." Well, I'm not nearly that mature. I love to bribe myself with hot baths, visits with my friends, a good movie - you name it. I try to avoid bribing myself with food, though. That way lies getting stuck in the different quagmire of body image issues.
3. Ask for help. Somewhere out there, someone believes in you. Give them a call or an email. Say, "I'm going in. Cover me!" For some reason, this works really really well.
4. Set a timer. When I'm exhausted and nearly falling out of my chair, I can fulfill my promises to myself by setting a timer for however long, and then letting myself rest.
5. Read your work aloud. Something about hearing the story usually gets me ready to rock and roll.
   
6. Crank your tunes. Turn that knob to eleven. Let the music drown out all those nasty, self-defeating voices.

What are some of your favorite tricks?

Freakatude.

I will admit it. There is nothing to be ashamed of, for these are enlightened times. We can confess to all our weirdnesses. So I will say it and I will say it loud.

I like to work out.

Please put down the breakable objects. It's really not that strange.

I like to work out for a couple of very simple reasons. First, it makes me feel better. It combats chronic pain and the depressive tendencies of the Pacific Northwest winter.

Second, it means I write better. When I exercise, my body tolerates writing for longer periods of time with no pain. When I exercise, I focus more easily on what I need.

I call my workout "Caring for my Instrument." Painters know they need to clean their brushes to create the images they see in their heads. Carpenters know they can't shape wood with dull tools. Musicians know that poorly tunes saxophones or tubas or violas aren't going to do their careers any favors.

If my sciatic nerve feels like a hot wire thrust down the back of my leg, if my wrists, elbows, shoulders, back, and neck hurt - well, I'd be better off turning off my computer and crawling back under the covers.

And really? Writing is a lot more fun than hiding in bed. :)

How do you care for your instruments?

Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!

Somehow, I don't think my monster truck announcer voice translates well into text, but it was worth a shot.

Because I really wanted to say --

Pancakes, PANCAKES, PANCAKES!

My beloved Charming Man is making his world class pancakes for Sunday breakfast.

Sometimes, life is good. :)

Raphael to Foxy Brown: Part Three

You might be wondering why in heavens name I did such oddball stuff last Tuesday. Well, I've learned that the word-creating part of my brain loves the visual arts. The more I immerse myself in art, history, and live performances, the better I write.

So back on the road from High Art to Popular Culture. :)

After I wrote on Tuesday afternoon, I took a break and watched Foxy Brown. I had never seen this movie before.

My first thought is that Pam Grier should be in every movie ever made. What a powerhouse actress! And quite possibly one of the most beautiful women ever.

My second reaction was one of profound discomfort - which is a very good thing. I was too young to be aware of social conditions in the early 1970's. While I remember the trailers for many of the blaxploitation movies, I certainly wasn't old enough to see them. Seeing how racial relations have changed (and haven't) made me determined to make sure that my characters are not white by default.

Will I screw up? Probably. Will I try to do write characters with rich backstory and strong emotions? I will absolutely do my best.

The point of these three posts is simple - a writer grabs inspiration from everything. No one can afford to dismiss any kind expression, because sometimes the 'disposable' arts will bring some of the most profound inspiration.

Raphael to Foxy Brown: Part two

The next exhibit I went to was China Design Now.

There's something wild, energetic, and disorienting about leaving a highly contemplative experience and being plunged into an environment pumping with modern Chinese pop music, color, and unfettered boldness.

Raphael's delicate sfumato technique with its lack of definite lines and serene atmosphere left me feeling very peaceful.

China Design Now with its youthful vigor was like a bracing splash of cold water. Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen are now dominated by a younger population who are curious, mischievous, and fearless.

The museum showed graphic design from CD labels, animation, and prints exploring the nature of Chinese calligraphy to radical architecture ideas, haute couture (which I fell madly in love with. Chinese haute couture is wonderful!), music, and movie making.

Color, line, and the reality of living in some of the most crowded cities in the world shoved me out of my complacent calmness and into thinking about a global identity. Problem solving is a major goal of mine. I left Raphael with admiration for his technique and his ability to create delicate emotions.

I left China Design Now ready to give my best to the social problems of today.

Which is the better art? And does it matter?

From Raphael to Foxy Brown: Part One of Three

The Portland Art Museum is currently hosting two exhibits that will blow your mind wide open. I visited them on Tuesday, and that evening, watched Foxy Brown. This is the story of how the different kinds of art can affect you. Or more accurately, me.

The first exhibit is a special showing of Raphael's incomparable La Velata (Woman with the Veil). The Art Museum's website has all the details, but you'll have to read all that there. I want to talk about the emotional impact of art.

Setting plays a huge part in the way visual art speaks to the viewers. La Velata is being displayed by herself in a single room. Only a limited number of patrons are allowed in at one time to avoid crowds.

In this black curtained room, her ornate gold frame captures the light and surrounds her with an angelic glow. Raphael's sfumato technique gives her face and clothing a soft, serene look. Her gaze goes directly to you, no matter where you are standing.

This is what I wrote in my journal after viewing her.

Her eyes are direct, but also peaceful. There is an air of alertness, but not of fear. She is alive and serene at the same time.

Her jewelry is exquisite. Carnelian at her neck, pearl bobs in her hair, and the black ribbons at her bodice indicate not only her status, but invite the viewer (or more accurately, me!) to contemplate the nature of adornment. And makes us (more accurately, me) want to make sure we have shown ourselves love by decorating our bodies.

Her veil glows.

She makes me lower my shoulders and release my tension. For though she looks very young, her face is both compassionate and no-nonsense.

As I wandered the rest of the museum's gallery of Renaissance art, I compared the serenity of La Velata to the action-oriented pieces in the collection. Her elegance and seeming simplicity left me wanting more, whereas the more violent pieces made me scurry by, not wanting to ruin the contemplative feeling she gave me.

Next up?

China Design Now - an overwhelming and exciting display of modern design from Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen.

NaBlogWriMo?

Last night, a friend of mine challenged me to National Blog Writing Month. Better late than never, I say.

So, a few days into November, I will now attempt to write a blog entry every day.

*bites nails*

For my first entry, here is something I found online (but with no attribution, so if you know who wrote this, let me know!!)

How to feel miserable as an artist
(or, what not to do. Underline any that currently apply)

1. Constantly compare yourself to other artists
2. Talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on.
3. Base the success of your entire career on one project.
4. Stick with what you know.
5. Undervalue your expertise.
6. Let money dictate what you do.
7. Bow to societal pressures.
8. Only do what your family would love.
9. Do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks.
   
10. Set unachievable/overwhelming goals. To be accomplished by tomorrow.

What do you fall into? I'm a sucker for #1, 2, 3, 5, and 10. Especially 1 and 10 together.

Can't you just hear it?

"Jayne Ann Krentz puts out how many books a year?! I'd better get seventy-five pages in by tomorrow!!

Yep. Works every time, let me tell you.

Art, Emotion, and Muses.

October has been a very busy month here at Casa Mercury. I got to participate in one of the coolest things ever.

I got to experience a photo shoot with the hugely talented and visionary Michael Baxter. Internationally known as the premier belly-dance photographer in the world, he was willing to meet with me and work on some portrait and retro-style pinup photographs.

Michael is the sweetest person you'll ever meet. He's generous, kind, and the very definition of artist. In between shots, we talked about what makes a photo or a paragraph or music into art, something transcendental.

Not to get all Aristotelian on everyone's asses, but we kept coming back to the idea that art evokes emotion. For example, tragedy arouses fear and pity, then creates a catharsis for those emotions. All art forms revolve around emotion- the arousal, examination, and release thereof.

The visual arts can suggest a story in a single image. The written arts can suggest actions and meanings that re-create or imitate the world.

Thank you, Michael, for being a Muse for me.

Finding the Fun.

I just watched The Fun Theory videos and now I feel really up and at 'em!

The premise of The Fun Theory is that we can change everyday behaviors by making them more fun.

I firmly believe that making and having lots of fun creates a much healthier life. Today, in the spirit of the Fun Theory, I am going to go see what I can do to make my environment more exciting and playful.

What will you do?

The Governor Hotel

Dracula's Secret is set in Portland, Oregon and part of the plot happens in the Governor Hotel. I chose the Governor due to its reputation as one of the premier luxury hotels, especially known for excellent service and rooms.

This week, I decided it was time to override my general, vague descriptions with some actual first hand observation.

I made an appointment with the amazingly gracious and well-informed Jason Staats, Event Coordinator/Chief Concierge for the Governor. Jason took me on a personally guided tour of the hotel!

Here is Jason, showing me one of their Superior guest rooms, complete with very cool built-ins and a king sized bed. One of things I found wonderful about this location was their high quality fabrics and finishes. I'm a bit of a texture fiend, and every surface I touched pleased my fingertips.

Jason amazed me with the diversity of the hotel, which include rooms with sitting areas, parlors, beautiful retro-inspired bathrooms, and amazing service.



For me, seeing the hotel through the eyes of my antagonist (who is staying at the Governor for a tension-fraught conference) showed me even more of his personality. This character loves being surrounded by elegant furnishings and enjoys luxurious service. I even found the room that he would be staying in- namely one of their utterly decadent Penthouse Terrace Suites with a private terrace and magnificent views of Portland.

I knew when I saw that room that my character, the heroine's brother, would want to stay there. The commanding vista of the city and mountains would appeal to his love of control and exclusivity.

Many thanks to Jason and The Governor for helping me discover more about my characters and for the wonderful tour. I can't wait to share this amazing locale with my readers. :)

More first hand research.

So I finally got to experience firing rifles; everything from a .22 to some sort of unusual Romanian sniper's rifle. My gun friends were very generous in sharing their knowledge and firearms with me, letting me ask endless questions and even filling the magazines for me.

But then it rained, and my notes are completely useless.

*sigh*

TMI alert!

One of the ways I try to keep my love scenes fresh and exciting is to keep a notebook of sexual fantasies and thoughts. Not just my own, but also ideas and experiences my friends share with me, or random ideas from the various media in my life.

I try not to judge or censor any of these, no matter how exotic or fantastical they may be. So I've got jottings about everything from tender heterosexual lovemaking by candlelight to tentacle sex to sex in outer space to.... Well, you get the idea. :)

Once people sense that you won't judge them for sexual thoughts, they can be remarkably forthcoming with ideas. Recently my husband and I struck up a general conversation with a gentleman in a restaurant's lounge . Once he found out I wrote romance, he suggested that the necklace our bartender wore would make a handy cock ring in a story.

Of course I wrote it down! I'm sure I'll use it somewhere.

So if you see me reaching for my purse during a conversation, keep talking!

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I liked the Escher exhibit so much I went back today!

Remember what the Dormouse said...

Feed your head!

(sorry about the earworm, there, but it had to be done)

Something I always forget, but is of vital necessity - intellectual stimulation is the life-blood of writers and other artists. When I haven't seen art, listened to live music, or done any of those other life-affirming things, I have a very very difficult time writing.

Yesterday, I checked out the MC Escher exhibit at the Portland Art Museum. It was brilliant and eye opening.

The show had study after study for his pieces, original lithographs, and even the plates he used for his work.

What did I learn?

That art takes time. And, despite my natural tendency towards impatience, it is supposed to take time.

What a relief!

Inspiration! Imitation!

Elizabeth Gilbert on writing, creativity, and surviving fear.

I have a feeling I'm going to be looking at this video a lot. :)

Doing what can't be done!

I write tight. I don't want to bore anyone, ya know. But there's fast paced and then there's, "What's going on here, again?"

So I have to add to my manuscripts, opposed to most of my friends, who write long and then cut.

My goal is to let go of my fear of boring people and write as floridly and passionately as I can. Or at least put in a few Zombie Frogs.

Crumb.

Brain refuses to work during the heat.

More updates as events warrant. :)

Doing the nasty some more.

Love scenes are great fun to write as well as read. The difficult part isn't coming up with positions or locations.

Because like every other scene in the book, the love scenes need to move the plot forward, reveal something about the characters, as well as explore the emotions involved in such a deeply personal act.

So let's be specific. Let's say my heroine is looking at the hero.

He was gorgeous. Even the sick yellow sodium streetlight couldn’t erase his high cheekbones and navy blue eyes. His full lower lip summoned her to kiss and bite. His worn shirt framed his chest and rippled belly. Lost in a fog, she barely registered licking her lips when she saw a line of flesh above the waistband of his low-slung jeans. One long fingered hand touched the glass as he leaned in closer, his eyes locked on her.

The world shrunk. Those strong, scarred digits slid, lazy and slow, down the window. His thumb hooked through his belt loop. He cocked his hip in masculine invitation to look and appreciate. The grace of him sent an unfamiliar shudder through her breasts. Its power rocked her back on her heels. In all her long life, had she ever felt an erotic blow like this? Her body wanted to know how those fingers would feel.

What makes this snippet work or not isn't the description of his body, delightful as it is. It's what she feels, the emotion that the visual brings to her. Her desire, surprise, and yearning tell you that she's sexual, though she's not been intimate, not just physically but also emotionally, with someone for a very very long time.

You know you're a writer when...

You find a random piece of paper that says, 'Blow job here' and it has nothing to do with a naughty date.

My Band of Hooligans.

Today was a brainstorming and plotting day with my wonderful, amazing band of Hooligans. There are six of us, of varying ages, who all write different subgenres of romance. Everything from my sexy but dark paranormals to home/hearth to adventure to suspense.

I think every writer needs a 'family' of some sort. A group of people (or even just a person) who invest themselves in you, believe in you, and care passionately about your success.

We rarely critique each other's work, since we write such different things. After all, I'd be saying things like, "You know this scene where the heroine realizes there's no place like home? You need some Zombie Frogs in there."

And believe it or not, not everyone is into Zombie Frogs! Can you imagine???

Lack of ZF's not withstanding, together we take each other's plots to greater heights of courage and adventure.

Just like we do for each other. :)

Doing the nasty.

One of the interesting things about writing the zippy stuff is the inevitable question : "So, uh, do you DO the *ahem* activities you write about?!"

The answer is (you're going to love this one), "It depends."

Have I ever engaged in frottage with a priest against a tree?

Yuck. Just...yuck.

Have I been passionately crazy about someone that is very very bad for me?

Oh, my yes.

The great thing about the erotic imagination is you can take a feeling, an image, or a memory, and make that little snippet into something that rings so true and alive that your readers can only imagine that you've actually done something that truly wicked and pleasurable.

And that's a damn cool thing about being a writer. :)

Buy the book!

My good friend Delilah Marvelle just sent me this email:

Despite being sold out of my first print run and going to reprint soon for my debut book, Mistress of Pleasure, Kensington will not be renewing my contracts citing lack of sales. So I have a favor to ask everyone. I am looking to do one last huge push for the second book coming out this August 4th, Lord of Pleasure, so that this series doesn't die a sad pathetic death.

I'm hoping everyone can help in any way by blogging, pitching, sending out newsletters, telling their brothers and sisters, ANYONE to buy the damn book when it comes out August 4th, to show to the publisher that this series DOES matter.

You can also send them to my website www.DelilahMarvelle.com

The campaign is called Save the School of Gallantry Series.
I'm also having a contest, which everyone can post everywhere.

The contest is as follows:
From August 4 until August 28, anyone who e-mails me at
Delilah@DelilahMarvelle.com with the School's quote from Lesson 27, will be entered to win one of three $50 Visa Cards. Winners will be contacted via e-mail by September 10th.

I appreciate all the support!!!

Mistress of Pleasure, Sold out

Lord of Pleasure, August 2009

RT Reviewer's Choice Award Nominee,

N.O.R's Best Historical Romance of the Year

& Booksellers Best Award Double Finalist!

Ah. Communication is that thing we can always do better.

Sorry I've been away from my blog for so long - I've been writing like a madwoman and loving it.

I'm in one of those streaks where I'm clicking away on revisions. I can see the words bringing the story to an even higher level of emotion and risk.

I love that.

Back to work!

All right!

I just signed with the Atlantis Literary Agency!

My agent and I had coffee today, signed contracts, and talked about getting my manuscripts ready for submission.

I can barely sit still!

Anything but writing!!

Do not, under ANY circumstances, watch this in the library.

Whose Line is it Anyway?
(this link goes to UK Season 1)


I just about burst something.

Everything is connected.

Once I cleaned out my negative emotions and figured out what needed to be done, it's amazing how much clearer both my personal and business lives got. Hello, productivity!

We may have a lot of energy, but it is not infinite. A drain in one place will diminish how much you can spend in all the rest.

If I'm furious in my personal life, my writing will suffer.

Which, of course, drives me nuts, but that's the way it is. :)

The fire of anger.

I've got a nasty case of premenstrual tension this past week. Feelings that I've ignored or pretended to be healed are coming to the forefront - anger and resentment in particular. The Destructive emotions that are scary and for good reason. After all, who hasn't burned bridges they needed when burning with anger?

But this time, I'm doing something a little different. I'm taking that need to clean my emotional house and applying it to my writing. I'm getting in touch with my characters' wrath as well as my own.

It's not easy. It's not even all that fun. But it is very very necessary.

Sometimes destruction must happen before building.

Revisions

I'm revising Dracula's Secret (again). The first draft was a rambling, shambling monster with no clear plot or idea where I was going. I had some thoughts that I should try working from the seat of my pants.

Which is why I am now on my fourth set of revisions. *grin*

One of the most useful tools in a writer's toolbox is a little exercise called GMC.

For each of your main characters, you determine their Goal, Motivation, and Conflict.

The amazing Debra Dixon came up with this shorthand in her amazing book called (oddly enough), Goal, Motivation & Conflict: The Building Blocks of Good Fiction.

Let me show you one of the GMC charts that Ms. Dixon uses in the book - Rick Blaine from Casablanca.

Rick Blaine
Description: Cynical Loner
Tagline: (lessons he needs to learn)
One person can make a difference in this world
Women in war must make desperate choices (think of the newlywed)

Goals: (what he wants)
External

1. Keep bar open
2. Punish Ilsa
3. Get Ilsa and Victor on that plane

Internal

1. Regain the love he had in Paris
2. To do what's right in the world

Motivation: (because)
External

1. Needs money and people depend on him
2. Because she left him in Paris
3. Insure her safety
   

Internal

1. The pain of losing Ilsa has never gone away
2. Daily, he sees what war is doing to people around him

Conflict (but)
External

1. The French Prefect has all the power
2. Punishing her puts her in more danger
3. Victor has been put in jail

Internal

1. Ilsa is married
2. He must put aside his own happiness

Looks easy, doesn't it?

It's actually a difficult chart to fill out because you are constantly learning more about your characters and your story. I just did my fifth GMC for my leading characters. *facepalm*

But every time I do it, I learn something more. If I let it, it's exhilarating.

Back in the saddle again...

I've been visiting family and old friends for the past week, so forgive my lack of posting

I often think about the saying, "Travel is so broadening." And it's true.

No, I didn't gain weight. I gained wonderful images, conversations, and settings. I'm not much of a traveler, but I am always thrilled when I do. Kicking myself out of my comfort zone always makes for stronger, hotter, more thrilling writing.

Now, just to get down to it. That's always the hard part. :)

Surrounding yourself with heroes.

Books on writing are full of advice - some of it life-changing. Some are, how do I say this nicely?

Utter rubbish.

And sometimes, advice starts as one and turns into the other.

For example, when women try to lose weight, they are told to paste a picture of a slim person on the inside of their cupboard or on their refrigerator. I have always found this to be nasty, belittling, and condescending - yet another way of telling women that they are not beautiful and they will never measure up.

But we all need heroes. That's why we write, that's why we watch movies/TV, that's why we read. Everyone needs someone to show us that what we want is possible and how to get there.

So this week, I found pictures of my creative heroes and I've seeded them around my writing stations.

Obviously, I have a love for mythology and for the band Queen. Freddie, Brian, Roger, and John now live in glorious color on my laptop's wallpaper. Their music, politics, and courage never fail to lift me up when I'm feeling sluggish or stuck.

Jayne Ann Krentz, a wonderful best-selling author (and former librarian with a background in history!) is another of my heroes. I've met her in person a few times and she is down to earth, intelligent, and has great insights on our craft. If you do not own Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, you are shorting yourself some great discussion on Romance!

Emma Holly writes beautifully sexy and emotional fiction.

I've got lots. Who inspires you?

Hands on Research

By training and preference, I love research through the writer's traditional resources - print, photographs, online ready-reference.

This week, though, I got down and dirty with first hand experience. There are some things a girl just can not learn through other people's words.

Like how to shoot a firearm.

My good friend, a former Marine, graciously took me to a pistol range on Monday. There he patiently explained the handling of the four different pistols I ended up renting and shooting.

I learned what single action and double action meant, what the hammer did, how to hold the weapon, how to aim it, and finally, how to shoot it.

First came a revolver, the .38 Special. Next came two 9mm, a Sig and a Glock. Lastly, .45 Smith and Wesson.

Whenever I learn something new, the oddest things stick out at me. I didn't expect to be tossed around as much as I was. I'm not small, nor am I weak. But my thumbs and wrist still feel like they've been gnawed on!

Second, I was struck by the difference between the slow, accurate firing of the revolver and the faster, "throw a lot of bullets at it" feeling of the semi-automatics.

Handling something that has the sole purpose of killing something is an interesting mixture of fear and power. It's not unlike getting behind the wheel of a car, but with a less ambiguous reasoning. After all, a car is also transportation.

Will I ever own one? Unlikely.

Will I fire them again? Most likely.

Will I try other firearms, such as rifles? Again, most likely.

This is information I need to make my writing vigorous, strong, and real. Lots of times, writers put in characters who are not affected by their ability to kill, who almost seem to seek it out.

I've already learned this is not truthful. Those who understand the kind of power and responsibility that come with holding life and death in their hands are more likely to never want to use it.

Yay!

I got a web interview! Check this out.

Who knew?!

Holy cow! You can turn your phone off while you're writing and call people back later!

You can even not answer your email right away.

I'm gobsmacked.

Poetry and its relationship with fiction.

Just like listening to live music or observing paintings, poetry fuels my writing in a potent but indirect way.

I like poetry that explores an emotion or situation with very little meandering. Fiction lets you ramble a little bit, get in-depth thinking.

Poetry helps me keep on track and not be afraid of uncomfortable topics.

Some of my favorite poetry books are:

Beautiful Signor by Cyrus Cassells (a lush and gorgeous romance between two men in Italy)

100 Love Sonnets
and
Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon by Pablo Neruda(anything by Neruda, really. I think I'd read the man's grocery list)

Hafiz and Rumi, naturally.

And the best book about poetry is

How to read a poem and fall in love with poetry by Edward Hirsch. Chapter Eight, Poetry and History: Polish Poetry after the End of the World, is some of the greatest writing ever done on literature.

Russian poet Anna Akhmatova wrote this snippet before her epic poem "Requiem".

In the terrible years of the Yezhov terror I spent seventeen months waiting in line outside the prison in Leningrad. One day, somebody in the crowd identified me. Standing behind me was a woman, with lips blue from the cold, who had, of course, never heard me called by name before. Now she started out of the torpor common to us all and asked me in a whisper (everyone whispered there):
"Can you describe this?"
And I said: "I can."
Then something like a smile passed fleetingly over what has once been her face.

This is what poetry does for us.

The joys of slacking.

I'm not really slacking, actually. My family of birth continues to have health problems and all sorts of scary excitement.

Some writers can ignore the stress and keep to their regular schedules. Much to my shame, I'm not one of them.

Instead, I'm working as it fits my energy level. I'm doing lots of brainstorming, reworking of my plots, and synopsis revisions. I manage actual composition by hand now, instead of on my computer. For some reason, that feels more playful, less serious. I get to make a big mess with my horrid handwriting and scratch outs and marginalia. :)

I've bought poetry from the Spanish Renaissance to feed my head. Reading poetry, especially from your non-native culture, keeps a writer juicy and creative. If you don't read poetry, why not?

Next week, I'll post some of my favorite poets and poetry books. :)

Writing Tight vs. Writing Long

Some people write a long first draft and then cut their manuscript down to size.

Some people write a short first draft and then add. And add. And add. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

I write tight.

It's almost like words are expensive! *shakes head at self*

My poor critique partners keep asking me what planet I'm on, what are they wearing, what's the weather, are these poor characters nekkid or what?!

I have a phobia about description.

Because I fear I might turn into THIS.

Some literature really does live up to its hype!

And so do some actors. :)

I fell in love with Shakespeare in high school when I discovered that he really was as good as everyone made him out to be. After all, Dickens didn't do much for me. Neither F. Scott Fitzgerald nor J.D. Salinger made me want to read everything they had read. But Shakespeare! *happy sigh*

Recently, I've discovered someone else who lived up to his hype. Marlon Brando.

As a Gen Xer, my main exposure to Marlon Brando was his post-Godfather work. I couldn't see what the critics were talking about. To a young child, he mumbled, shuffled, lumbered, and was basically was kind of disturbing. I didn't see what made him the revolutionary actor every critic raved about.

I saw Guys and Dolls a month ago (my love for over the top musicals came from my mother), and found my interest piqued by Brando.

This week, I watched Julius Caesar.

Here was the charisma and the boldness everyone raved about! His physical beauty surprised me (and boy, did the director show that off, over and over). No mumbling at all. Instead, his portrayal made Antony both passionate and deliberate, both heroic and manipulating. He dared to speak his lines with unexpected emphasis and rhythm.

I was smitten.

I expected the amazing performances from James Mason (one of my cinema idols), John Gielgud, and Louis Calhern. Delightfully, all of them brought their A-game. Instead of Brando dominating the screen, the entire cast brought out the best in each, James Mason, normally so cool and graceful, infused Brutus with a compassion and warmth I didn't expect. John Gielgud, always dignified, showed me an envious and grasping Cassius who was also entirely human.

I think I will have to base a book on these performances. Something unexpected and surprising and hopefully worthy of these, my literary and action idols.

I'm sure I will fail, but the trying alone will be worth every minute!

Good Rejection.

This weekend, I got a great rejection from Kensington.


What is a good rejection?

One where the editor or agent signs it him or herself. One where they give a feedback (a little or a lot) on what your writing needs to make it pop in this highly competitive field.

Something personalized.

And I got one!

So I'm excited to go back to Dracula's Secret and revise it again. No more fear! Time to pump up those stakes and heighten the drama.

I'll post more when I figure out how to do that. ;)

The many gifts of sorrow, or Guess Who Reads Romance?

My maternal grandmother is in the hospital. Last week, I flew half-way across the continent to be with her, and things were not looking good.

So I decided to tell her that I was writing romance and not anything sweet, either. I had been worried she would disapprove.

She held my hand and said, in her tiny, halting voice, "I love you because you're you. I know there are lots of different books out there."

Cue huge crying jag here.

I am staying with my father who lives very close to that hospital. It's fair to say that he and I have had differences of opinion. I had feared telling him and my step-mother than I was writing romance.

My Dad is a PhD. in chemistry and my step-mom an MA in mathematics. I remember lots of very intellectual books in our house. So I was not going to let them know I was writing genre fiction.

Until I saw a Linda Howard title on the counter.

Which I found out they both were reading.

So I told them.

Now my parents are very busy giving me ideas for new novels!

In the middle of fear and worry, beauty and harmony can grow.

Care and feeding of an author.

It's a sad fact that I have to learn a lesson many times before I truly get it (I guess that makes me normal, huh?!). And today, the lesson I learned again is what makes me the most productive.

Being relaxed, well-rested, pain-free, and generally patient with myself means I have a day that rocks hard. I'll compose and edit with great ease and pleasure. Writing is a joy to me and makes me feel amazing.

The minute I tense up and start nagging myself at how much I need to get done and how lazy I am and how much I suck....

Well, let's just say I'm better off going back to bed and calling it a done day.

So to this end, I do a wide number of things to put myself in the best possible place.

I work out five days a week (don't get too excited about this, somehow I'm still a super curvy girl). I give myself permission to take naps.

The hardest thing, though, is to remember that writing is not just Butt in Chair, Fingers on Keyboard. Everything feeds that fire - reading, watching movies, doing research, even taking a long, hot, scented bath - fuels the writer.

Nagging? Not such a good motivator.

Pleasure? The best motivator ever.

What are your pleasures? What motivates you?