The Emotional Tool Box

In my last post, I talked about reaching into my emotional toolbox to help me get over my moments of STFU. Let's see what's inside.

The key that unlocks the chest says, "Your feelings are perfectly valid and legitimate. There is a logic and purpose to them." Doing this lets me open up, relax, and not try to macho through the hard stuff.

Inside, I check my diagnostic, HALT DISC. This is a mnemonic to ask myself, "Am I... "

Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?

Cold?
Sick?
In pain?
Dehydrated?

This information lets me know what I have to do for myself right now. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time working at all, let alone efficiently, when these factors are in play.

I'll share more from my toolbox, but those two are my hammer and flat-head screwdriver of coping.

What do you have in your emotional toolchest?


(This amazing tool chest belongs to Michael Capozzio of Classic Corvette Restorations in Chardon, Ohio)
 

This is my voice, my weapon of choice.

 

 

Anyone who has ever been told to be told to shut up (everyone) has moments when they are convinced.....

 

Wait. Strike that. Let's not get cutesy with the passive voice here. Let's just say things. 

 

A nasty voice lives in my head and it loves to tell me that I have nothing of worth to say. My throat literally tightens up. My words slog through mud to leave my mouth. 

 

Grace Jones says in the linked video, "This is my voice, my weapon of choice." 

 

Being silenced removes your first, best weapon against those who do not want you to challenge the status quo. The status quo doesn't have to be big things, either, like political reform or climate change. The status quo I am fighting today? Sending emails out to independent bookstores to see if they would like to carry my books. 

 

Seriously. Today I am convinced that I am better served not drawing attention to myself, that no bookstore would want to shelve me in their stock. I'm going to reach into my emotional toolbox and find every thing I can that will help me. I will resist that cruel voice that wants me to play small. 

 

Tell me a time when you resisted your cruel voice.

Lost Tales (or, Linda Mercury takes on Tolkien)

Argonath Bookends

The Argonath

protect my desk.

They mark the boundaries of 

Gondor. 

"Go back," 

They tell the Numinorians. 

"You have reached the limits of your land."

Maybe I should face

them the other say. I have not

yet the 

limits

of my 

land.

Poetry Break.

 I found a long-lost poem while I was doing some KonMari organization on my file cabinet. It's obviously pretty old.

I call this one, "Bullshit."

A self-indulgent, condescending woman once told me,

"The greatest art is borne of sorrow."

(bullshit)

She then told me,

"When you finally experience sorrow, you

will understand what I mean."

(Because pain never visits those under thirty).

    I didn't say that my mother had died a year ago.

    I'd put my dog down two months ago.

    I had left my husband a month ago.

             She was a liar.

 

The best art comes from joy.

Writing Real Sex: Part One.

 

Writing Real Sex: How to Write Real Sex for Fiction Novels

Let's be real - I love writing sex. I want to write the kind of love scenes that make people want to connect, kiss, play, and share their appreciation of each other. I want all my love scenes in my stories to show just how good pleasure can be, no matter how many people are involved or their genders. 

To quote the Great Sages, Lynyrd Skynyrd, "I know a little about love, and honey, I can guess the rest."

Over the next few weeks, look forward to posts here, on my Instagram, and in my mailing list. I'll be doing Q&A's about writing intimacy, posting writing samples, doing a little reading out loud. 

Just how do we unlearn what we have been told is sexy and put what truly turns on our characters? Keep tuned!

Behind the Character: Valerie Tate

 

Many years ago, I had a nightmare about the Napoleonic Wars (if you have ever studied the Napoleonic Wars, you will understand. They were dreadful). One part of this nightmare was amazing, though. A dark woman, one full of secrets and violence, came into the tent where the generals were planning the Peninsular Campaign (Napoleon's disastrous invasion of Spain). She gave the best tactical advice but the men dismissed her. She left the tent, returned in men's clothing, and they thought she was a genius.

I knew this woman was Vlad Tepes, the vampire Dracula. This dream stuck with me. I was fascinated by this idea. Naturally, I did a little research. There are very few primary resources about Vlad (see here, here, and here). Most of the literature talked about the alleged atrocities she committed. If I looked at these stories through a feminist lens, I could see how these fictions could be seen as acts of a furious woman (impaling, especially. How Freudian of her!).

This began the long process of writing the Blood Wings series. Who was she? Why would her family hid her born gender? How could that be done? What motivated her? Did she have secret dreams? What were her wounds?

The series took many drafts and lots of brainstorming. I had to learn what kind of lovers she had, who she thought she was. 

I have been honored to share this journey with you. With the final revision being released on May 6, 2021, I feel like Valerie Tate has finally found a place of happiness.