Non-Fiction for the Holidays!

Last time, we talked fiction. Perhaps your friends and you need some non-fiction in your life! Over here at Maison de Mercure Charmante,
(named after The Charming Man and myself), we pride ourselves on great non-fiction aimed at helping people create an awesome life.

First up is the Little Sexy Workbook. Part of being an erotic writer means being an unofficial sex therapist. In order to help people have better communication around arousal and their preferences, I created this little book.
 

 

If you have been having problems with stress and rejection, I have Rejection, Bad Reviews, and Mean People. Aimed at writers, but helpful for every one, this book has real world, immediate suggestions to get through the shock of dealing with nasty words.

 

Finally, if you are writer who wants to create better love scenes and sexual tension, I created Arousal to Zipper: Writing the Best Sex of Your Life. It doesn't matter what heat level you write, this book helps you wring the most emotion from your characters.

 

Buy Links:
My Web Site
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Apple Books

Cliches that gotta go, Part Four.

 Cliche: Telling us how sexy someone is.

 

 Show us how sensual a person is.

From American Photo, Nov/Dec 1993

.

One day, I got ice cream with a male friend. Conversation lagged while we enjoyed our treat. 

 He closed his eyes and swirled his tongue around the scoop, licking and sucking at the cone. I nearly orgasmed from watching his mouth relish the smooth, cold, silky cream. He was entranced by the flavor and simply abandoned himself to the sensations. If I hadn't already been thoroughly besotted already, I would have fallen just from watching him get into the moment.

A few years later, I showed my book hero impressing my heroine by his firm, assured handling of her classic muscle car, a 1966 Ford Shelby. This car model boasts 350 horsepower and went from zero to sixty in 4.5 seconds. This is the kind of automobile that easily could be pushed and pushed hard. I almost had the hero gunning the engine, squealing the tires - basically pushing the ferocious engine to its limits. But wait.

I remembered how my friend’s un-selfconscious pleasure seduced me. I wanted my character to seduce the heroine by showing how he handled power, by showing that he had class, sensuality, and stamina. I wanted her to be intrigued by his ability to unleash this magnificent automobile's potential with a long smooth ride, not something rocky, jerky, and way too short.

Don't just describe your sexy person. Show us what about them turns on the observer.

Cliches that Gotta Go; Part Three.

Coercion?

Just don't.  

 

I completely stopped reading a famous author when I realized that her heroes constantly pushed and bullied their way into the heroine's body. *coughLoraLeighcough*

One of them refused to let her orgasm until she agreed to his cock in her ass (a pet peeve of mine, see Part Two of this series). One 'hero' repeatedly forced his sexual attentions on a heroine despite her concerns for maintaining her reputation/pregnancy/losing her autonomy. At no point did the hero address her emotional needs, preferring to shove his various body parts into her mouth and other locales of interest.

I left those books feeling violated, not aroused. Force isn't sexy.

When you are creating your erotic moment, remember that there is a huge difference between a seduction and coercion. Seducing is an invitation to pleasure and mutual joy. There is an element of play, of delight, of seeing who the other person is, and learning what works on this one in particular.

Coercion is about one person's "need" to get off. It also refuses to listen to the other's concerns and worries about the act of sex. If one person is worried about anything, then the partner had better address that. 

 Don't traumatize your readers or viewers. Invite them to play with you instead.

Sex Cliches that gotta go, part two.

Today, we are talking about:

 Spontaneous anal penetration.

 

You've read the scene a million times.  A penis owner wants in their partner's butt. By coercing and pressuring the bottom, the penis owner shoves that monster dick in. The receiving partner cries out in pain, but eventually is won over by the battering their rear is taking and orgasms and nearly passes out.

 

Come on. Let's be real. 

 

The rear end needs lots of extra love and preparation. If your characters aren't using lube, time, and barrier methods to get the ass ready to party, you are missing out on an incredible chance to show their vulnerabilities and motivation. Is your top wanting in the butt because it feels so tight around the penis? Or do they want in because they want their partner to feel incredible pleasure? Are these people here for trust or brutality? 

The warm up process for the ass is a worthy scene in and of itself. The goal is to send someone through the roof, and that makes for a brilliant, non-stereotyped sex scene.

Also, what is hotter than a partner whose agenda is one of mutual pleasure?  

Not much!

Sex Cliches that gotta go. Part One.

There are so many cliches in erotic materials. My next few posts are going to talk about which ones I want to see gone, gone, gone, and how to avoid them. I want your love scenes to be truthful, arousing, and to give others permission to express their desires.

Cliche #1:

 Simultaneous Orgasms (S.O.s)

Orgasming at the same moment of your partner(s) is really hot and really fun. It requires co-ordination, sensitivity to each other's arousal, and can bond the people together.

But do all of your sex scenes end in simultaneous orgasms? Each of the scenes in your work should have different levels of emotional and spiritual intimacy. An act of love that creates a simultaneous orgasms needs to create a deeper connection between the characters. An S.O. can happen at any time during the character arc. 

Just remember, that when you are writing intercourse or mutual masturbation, don't act like that the height of pleasure is cumming at the same time. When I'm reading, I want the ones involved to experience all of their erotic potential, from raw lust to tender eye contact. An S.O. should never be the only goal. 

Once you remove the onus of an S.O. from a scene, you can let the characters' individual turn-ons and fantasies guide you.This creates memorable and more truthful sexual arousal. Your reader or viewer won't get bored, and at no point, will anyone say, "I've seen *that* a million times."

  

Writing "Real" Sex.

 

 

In a recent interview, the magnificent director Erika Lust reminded people "that porn is exaggerated fiction, done by sex gladiators. You are not going to be able to do exactly the same as they are doing." Filmed sex can look uncomfortable - the bodies contorted for the best camera angle, heads and faces out of frame which cuts us off from the emotions of the scene.  If I'm going to watch a sex act, I want to see how much pleasure the people involved are having - not just genitals. 

I feel the goal of all arousing material isn't to make something that looks like sex, but something that reminds the reader/viewer on how sex feels. For example, I recently read a couple of books where a heterosexual couple had hot steamy sex against the wall. And oh, was it a yummy scene, let me tell you. The author captured the yearning, the desire, the absolute hunger those two had for each other. They simply couldn't wait to get into bed, they had to have each other NOW.

The author made me think about how sex feels, not how it looks. Because when I think about how heterosexual intercourse against a wall looks, I start worrying about the man's knees and if he will need a ice pack at the end (why yes, I have had a sex injury, why do you ask?).

In this upcoming series, I'm going to explore what we need to unlearn in order to create not just great sex on the page, but also in your heart.

Erika Lust's interview:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CQydxnoIwLh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Writing Real Sex: Part One.

 

Writing Real Sex: How to Write Real Sex for Fiction Novels

Let's be real - I love writing sex. I want to write the kind of love scenes that make people want to connect, kiss, play, and share their appreciation of each other. I want all my love scenes in my stories to show just how good pleasure can be, no matter how many people are involved or their genders. 

To quote the Great Sages, Lynyrd Skynyrd, "I know a little about love, and honey, I can guess the rest."

Over the next few weeks, look forward to posts here, on my Instagram, and in my mailing list. I'll be doing Q&A's about writing intimacy, posting writing samples, doing a little reading out loud. 

Just how do we unlearn what we have been told is sexy and put what truly turns on our characters? Keep tuned!

Writing Sex: Know Thyself

 

For the final installment on writing sex, I'm going to ask some questions about your tastes. I think it is important to know what your boundaries are about sex in fiction, so let's get started.

1. What do you hate about writing sex?
2. What do you hate about reading sex?
3. What do you love about writing sex?
4. What do you love about reading sex?

What do these preferences tell you about how you are going to craft love scenes?

Let me know if you'd like your answers to go up on my blog.

Enjoy!












 

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Writing a Love Scene: Safer Sex - yes or no?

 

The AIDS crisis forced writers to talk about safer sex practices and it turned into a debate. Some authors state that their readers know that this is fiction. They think barrier methods ruin the flow. Some insist that not acknowledging the potential consequences of sex lowers the stakes, turns the characters two-dimensional, and throws the reader out of the story. Your choices depend a lot on your world-building. Are you in outer space with all bad germs eliminated? Do diseases not bother the undead?

I say that you need to have your safer sex choices remain consistent. If your heterosexual characters don't use condoms or gloves, neither should your gay or bi characters.

Exercise One:  How do you feel about safer sex in fiction?

Exercise Two: What are your favorite ways of writing safer sex?

Let me know! I'll post your answers on my blog.











 

Where to buy
Amazon 
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Apple
My Bookstore