Sex-positive: What is it and why is it good for you?

Search Results

Like many terms within feminism, sex positivity means different things to different people. As a broad ideology and world view, sex positivity is simply the idea that all sex, as long as it is healthy and explicitly consensual, is a positive thing.

 http://www.wgac.colostate.edu/sex-positivity

It's pretty obvious that I believe in the sex-positive movement. I write novels with consensual sex. My female characters own their desires and ask for what they want. My male characters not bullies who threaten or coerce their partners. And everyone in between those two poles has a chance to experience pleasure.

So I put my text where my beliefs are and wrote The Little Sexy Workbook. 

 Cleverly (I think) adorned with full color photos of statues from Italy and filled with fun, relaxed games to promote conversation, The Little Sexy Workbook is here to bring sex-positive energy to your life.

Curiosity: Rice Museum of Rocks and Minerals

Exploring is very important for writers, dreamers, lovers, and well, everyone, really. I like discovering cool things about my local area. So I visited the Rice Museum of Rocks and Minerals.

The museum building was originally constructed by Richard and Helen Rice as their family home in 1952. Richard Rice, a logger by profession, incorporated many rare Oregon woods, such as myrtle wood and quilted maple, in the fabrication of their house. The Rices built a gallery in their basement to display their amazing personal mineral collection. In 1997, the entire building was converted to a public museum, and an additional gallery building was constructed in 2005.

I love learning how the world works. Learning just a little bit of this geology was enough to get my imagination firing.

Enough talk! Let's look at their amazing, mind-opening stuff.

I don't even remember what this is, but wow!

The Charming Mother in Law with an enormous opal.

Imagine the forces it took to create such beauty.

The perfect place for a wizard to meditate.

These agates make these "landscapes" all on their own!

I could see a sort of fantastical entity hiding in here.

Ancient Tiger skull. Yowza!

I love Lapis Lazuli.

What story do you see in this piece?

The Rice's amazing house.

This makes me think of the wings on my angels in the Blood Wings series.

I think Lance's wings float like the chalcedony...

Can't you just see the feathers?

Self-Care: Retreats

The Forest Grove Grand Lodge.

A retreat is a form of radical self-care. It's not always (or usually) possible. If you are in financial tough times, I recommend getting a cheap notebook and scoping some time during your lunch break to empty your brain into it.

You get some time away from your normal schedule and develop your ability to see the trends and patterns that are good for you.


 Back in November of 2016, I took a two-day retreat to clarify my life and my writing. Here in the Pacific Northwest, we have a local chain of brew-pubs and hotels called McMenamins.

Buy it HERE.

I went to the Forest Grove Grand Lodge. Here I had several hours to journal, soak, think, and write. (Yeah, and take lots of pictures of the awesome artwork.) I finished my upcoming novella, Keeping It Up (to be released in January 2017), a sequel to Vamping It Up.

Retreats are perfect for refreshing your intelligent, sexy, and curious selves. (If I may be so immodest, allow me to recommend Vamping It Up as a great retreat book!) 

Ok, back on track.

If you can, find a place that is really pretty.

Explore your environment.

You get some time away from your normal schedule and develop your ability to see the trends and patterns that are good for you.





What feeds your head and your soul the best? Written words? Visual Art? Music? Scent? I like to check out art books from the library and read them for a mini-retreat if I don't have time for a proper get-away. 

Isn't this the perfect place to dream?

Gorgeous view out those windows.

McMenamins' locations are known for their whimsical art.

Serious Whimsy.

This was on the ceiling of my room.

A little face to watch over my fire alarm.

My room number: I was almost James Bond.

Welcome back!

Me, confused and irritated.

Hello, again! I've taken the last few months for a complete re-working of my blog direction. Since I started this blog in 2009 (wow! SEVEN YEARS of blogging), I've been scattershot, talking about what catches my eye for the moment.

I found myself getting irritated with that approach. I wanted to be more focused, more dynamic. I looked through my life and saw some themes that I want to explore.

Beauty is everywhere.

I believe that self-care, self-love, and beauty are necessities. I want my blog to reflect strategies and thoughts on how to bring more of these into our lives.

Audre Lord, spelling it out for us.

I want everyone to be able to create the literary life they want. I think we should be able to have a live that is harmonious between our make-a-living day and our dreams, especially for women. Double especially for women of color.

This will be a space for the curious, the sex-positive, and the explorer.

Lucy, the mother of us all.

Let's play!

It's okay to hide under the covers (or your desk) sometimes.

It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, at some point, you will freak out about your job (yes, even if it's a job you love). At some point, you will want to hide under your covers.


This is the story of how I learned to embrace my hiding urge.

I was having a crap day writing. Every ounce of self-confidence I had painstakingly built over the years drained out of me, leaving me shaken, sad, and very, very scared.

I sat in front of my computer, my arms wrapped around myself, and I was whispering, "I can't do this. I can't. I just want to hide under my desk and make this go away."

As you can imagine, this went on for quite some time.

Finally, a little calm voice in my brain said, "Well, go ahead. No one else is here. You can hide under your desk for a little while. Why not?"

Why not, indeed? So I did.

I slid off my chair, grabbed a soft blanket, and sat on the floor under my desk.

I'd never seen my office from this perspective.  The floor was actually clean (miracle!). The bottom of my desk made a nice little roof, protecting me from the sky that had been falling in my imagination. Almost immediately, my anxiety eased.

I don't know how long I sat there. I'm sure there is research showing that small spaces make us feel comforted, maybe something going back to our primitive hind-brains. All I know is that it stopped the flood of fear into my body and gave me a few moments of much needed peace.

That's when I realized that it is okay to look like a weirdo. It's okay to stop and protect yourself. And it's okay to hide once in a while.

Take a little break. Your brain and body will thank you.

And don't be afraid of looking like a weirdo.

Read this the next time you are desperately longing for encouragement:

Don’t let fear decide how you live, what you wear, what you say, or what you do.  Identify your fear, understand it and accept it, and move on.

Coco Graham

I believe reality is a marvelous joke staged for my edification and amusement, and everybody is working very hard to make me happy.

Terence McKenna

 

From Pure Joy springs all creation.

By Joy it is sustained, toward Joy it

proceeds and to Joy it returns.

From the Sanskrit.