As promised, here are my notes from the craft section of From Arousal to Zipper. Let's begin!
Now, how do we take
your observations, your ideas, and your passion and put it into clear, gorgeous
language? Through craft. In fact, I would say that craft matters the
most in a sensual scene because the stakes are so high. Everything is
heightened when arousal is on the line.
III.
Craft,
craft, craft. Sexy writing doesn’t mean lazy writing.
You still have to pay attention.
a. Spelling, punctuation, verb tense.
This
part kind of goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyway. Like an accidental
knee to a tender part, messing up here can really spoil the mood. Just saying.
b.
Point of View
(POV)
i. Quick recap: First person (I), Second
Person (You), Third Person (He/She/They)/ Omniscient and Limited. The POV
character is the one whose eyes the audience sees through. Make this person the
one with the most to lose.
Valerie
pinched the bridge of her nose. “You shouldn’t trust me.”
“I
do lots of things I shouldn’t, darling. Do not fear.” He held up the forgotten
bag of croissants. “If you put out, I’ll give you your sugar.”
Valerie
snorted laughter against her sleeve. Clever man.
“We
can try, at least,” John continued. “Do you feel nothing for me?”
She
knew herself to be brave. What price would this choice demand? Did she have the
courage to embrace everything this love had to offer as well?
She
sucked in air, giving herself a rush from the oxygen.
Screw
fear.
“I
feel much for you,” Valerie answered and held out her hand.
ii. Head hopping Going from one person’s
POV to another back and forth can be really confusing. Don’t use it to avoid
going into a character’s heart. Try to do it as little as possible. Use an
extra return to mark different POVs.
iii. Using POV: The POV leads to how you use
dialogue and monologue. Characters are rarely silent. What do their inner and
outer conversations reveal during sex? Love scenes are about being cut open and
vulnerable emotionally. The through line of confession emotions pushes and
draws the plot along. This is how you integrate the emotions into sex.
c.
Emotions: Emotions
lead to the body language and blocking. Action will logically follow how they
feel. If she is feeling shy, she will look away and blush. If he is uncertain,
he will rub the back of his neck. The blocking carries you to who will take the
lead and what the subtext is to the scene.
i. Feelings
are more important than the action. When you write, ask the important
questions: Did he make her feel good? Does she like him? Why did he lick his
partner – because he wanted to? Or because of some internal quid pro quo?
ii. Emotions lead to body language.
Excite your readers’ emotions with details on how someone loosens their tie,
licks their lips, or how they draw attention to their bodies. This is really
makes your writing pop. For example: Bryan was turned on. Versus: Bryan’s cock
pressed against his trousers. Desperate for relief, he faced the wall and
shoved his hand under his waistband.
Extra note: Check out The Emotion Thesaurus by Ackerman and Puglisi
iii. Double check your blocking. Use
a pillow or a big stuffed animal and act it out to get all the limbs,
tentacles, or fins in place. Make sure your positions are compatible with your
characters’ physiology.
d. Embody the sensations as much as
possible – tight lungs, heat between the legs. WHERE do you
feel arousal, where do your characters feel arousal? Ignore sexual stereotypes
of “Men” and “Women” and figure out this individual character.
e. Language: Also,
the emotions will lead to variation in your writing – not just sexual
variations like in a chair or on a horse (!) – but how long your sentences will
be and how the language gets used (will he start off prim and then get more
raunchy?). You have to know your characters and what language they would use
for intimacy. Some people are demure. Would they use penis or thingy? Some
people are blunter. Would your character be very clinical and use words like
pudenda or phallus? Are they dirty and nasty to say cock and cunt? Perhaps they
are more playful, like va-jay-jay and peen. Think about your character’s age,
where they were raised, their family, the geography of their life. What brings
them to this point in time where they want to have sex with the other
characters? For example, Julia Child, a
chef, said, on taking something from the oven, “That’s as hot as a hard cock!”
f. Geography.
What happens at a rubber event in London is going to be very different than a
young, inexperienced couple in rural Iran.
g. Read it out loud.
h.
“Chekov’s
Underpants”. "If
you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the
second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be
fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." Anton Chekov stated the importance of not
wasting your time on inessentials. If you mention the color or state of
someone’s underpants in one section, you’d better be sure to mention them
coming off. If one character admires another’s lips, those lips better show up
somewhere doing something hot.
I really hope this helps. If you have any questions, please leave a message or email me at LindaMercuryRomance @ gmail.com (no spaces, natch).
