Yet another trip to the Chinese Garden.

I love going to the Garden of Awakening Orchids in downtown Portland. It is the perfect place to gather my thoughts, look at the dizzying array of plants and buildings, and then drink tea and eat moon cakes at the Tao of Tea, also known as the Tower of Cosmic Reflections.

I like to go there when my brain has been reduced to a blithering ball of mush. I then take quick snapshots on my cell phone to jolt my creative side to see things from a different angle. Last week, I visited the second floor of the tea house for the first time.

*Above left - I really loved my cranberry-orange tea and tarot root moon cake. They were the perfect accompaniments for contemplation on a rainy day.

*Above right - the Garden was putting up decorations for the Chinese New Year.

*Left- It's hard to see, but I really loved this little dragon's, "Oh, hai!" face. It was adorable.

The rest of my pictures turned out fuzzy, but that was ok. I wasn't taking them for any other reason than to re-fill my word well. :)

The best Christmas present ever.

Last night, The Charming Man and myself went over to our dear friends' house (I'll think of a kicky name for them soon) for our holiday meal. I brought my laptop and spiral-bound notebooks with me since I wasn't interested in watching the basketball game.

As I sat in a quiet corner, brainstorming on my notepaper, another friend up to me. She is an avid reader of sexy paranormal romances and had been curious about Dracula's Secret since she met me.

She asked if she could read my manuscript early.

I said sure, but not the whole thing. So I handed over my laptop and let her read while I worked.

Here are her direct quotes:

"This book has surprised me in every chapter! You get used to things being a particular way in these novels, and you haven't done any of them!" (said with a great big grin on her face)

"I could read this all night!"
and
"This is some of the best stuff I've ever read."

Now imagine me running around screaming in joy like a madwoman. It was something like this:

EeeieieieeeewowohwowohwowieeeyeesssssWOW!
              \c O(
               \ _/
            ___/(  /(
           /--/ \\//
       __ )/ /\/ \/
      `-.\  //\\
         \\//  \\
          \/    \\
                 \\
                   '--`

(edited to add: In my joy, I forgot to credit the origin of the ASCII art:

This is Boy Running from Men in ASCII Men by Joan Stark)

Overheard at the Mercury-Charming Household.

Me, staring at my laptop, freaking out, "Do you really think I can do this?"

The Charming Man, wandering around the house, looking for his slippers, "Of course you can. Madness and despair are the inevitable consequences of attempting to do anything hard. They are also temporary states. Also, my slippers were on top of the ottoman. I must frequently walk there."

Yes, madness abounds here. I am grateful to have a crazy wise man to share it with.

My writing rituals, part two

My second ritual is keeping a journal.

I used to do the Daily Pages suggested by Julia Cameron in her wonderful book, The Artist’s Way. 

However, I soon found that I spent the entire time chronicling my chronic pain problems. I mean, really? Who wants to spend all their time thinking about how much everything hurts? It just made me more depressed.  That’s why I work out first.

After I eat my breakfast and check on the day’s news, I access my mystical creativity place by clearing out what is rummaging around in my brain. I write down all my emotions, what I have been doing, my insights, and my worries. Once those are out of my mind, I brainstorm and list what I will work on this day.

Journaling is almost always in long hand. Something about the way I shape my letters stimulates the visual center of my brain. Description is not my strength, so this loosens me up for putting in the setting for my stories.

Otherwise, my readers (and I!) have no idea where things are taking place, and that’s just no fun.

Advice to men, from a romance writer.

I'm a romance writer. This means I am a student of interactions between people- especially interactions that involve sexual or romantic tension.

Basically, the above is a nice way to say that I  spend a lot of time watching men.

While I'm watching men, I study their body language, the way they talk, the way they move, and how they present themselves.*

If it is true that men think of sex every seven seconds,  they certainly do not dress in a way that invites the female to think sexy thoughts about them. And forget getting them interested to approach the guy!

When I've been out and about, I've seen far too many heterosexual couples out on a date where the lady has put on a flattering outfit, worn stylish jewelry and pretty shoes, and applied makeup, while the gentleman (and I'm using the term loosely here) looks like he has just finished mowing the lawn in his flip flops, droopy shorts, and baseball cap.

Let me tell you that under these circumstances, the ladies never displayed any preening behaviors, or exhibited attraction in her body language. None of them were impressed.

For the next few days, I will present a romance writer's guide to male style. After all, I want to use you as inspiration for a romance hero!

*(If you are a guy and you see an extra-curvy, middle-aged [yet glamorous] woman staring at you, then taking notes, square your shoulders, spread your legs a little and give me a wink. I promise I'll blush).

AFK for a good reason...

as opposed to just not working on my blog. :)

Today I go in for LASIK corrective eye surgery. I'm not allowed to do any heavy visual lifting for at least a day, maybe two.

That means no movies, no computer, and NO READING!! I don't remember ever going a day without reading since I learned how.

I wonder if I'll get withdrawal symptoms....

The best writing advice I've gotten

I've been fortunate enough to receive some brilliant advice from a wide variety of sources. I hope to explore some of these A-ha! moments in the upcoming days.

The most important words I have are:

DARE TO BE AVERAGE!

I found this in (where else?) Feeling Good by David Burns

.

Most people write (or want to write) are perfectionists. If we don't write perfectly, then we are failures. If we don't sell a million copies, we are failures. 

You might have noticed that this doesn't lead to happy writing.What the heck? What have you got to lose? Perfectionism doesn't work, so why not try something new? You might feel awkward at first, but the liberation will stun you.

To quote:

For any activity, instead of aiming for 100 percent, aim for 80 percent, 60 percent, or 40 percent. then see how much you enjoy the activity and how productive you become. Dare to aim at being average! It takes courage, but you may amaze yourself! (p. 356)

By taking off the pressure to a staggering super genius, you and I can write with our own clear voice. Ideas become fun, instead of sources of anxiety. Mistakes become a game, not the end of the world.

Try it for a day, or even a week. Tell me what happens when you dare to be average! Do you feel less anxious, more productive, or did you have to face the fears that fueled perfectionism? 

Mating rituals.

I love the modern ritual of meeting people for coffee. It's the perfect way to test the waters, to see if you and another person are at least on the same page for relationship interests. As romance writers, we often throw our hero and heroine together under really crazy circumstances. I always like the, "If you want to live, come with me!" sort of introductions in books. Gets the chemistry going in a big way.

But there has to be a way to write the coffee date to be just as wild, crazy, and risky as the high speed run in a growly muscle car.

I sense a writing exercise! If you  write a coffee date that feels high flying, I'll do it, too.

Out and about some more!

Cool things can happen even when you don't seek them out. For example, the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile made an appearance today!

Inspirational Quotes.

Every one has quotes they pin up on their wall by their desks. As we close in on American Thanksgiving, I want to highlight the most important gratitude of all - that of love.


For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

"Some day after we have mastered the winds, the waves and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, humans will have discovered fire."
-Teilhard de Chardin

The subject tonight is Love
And for tomorrow night as well.
As a matter of fact I know of no better topic
For us to discuss
Until we all
Die!
-Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

"Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
-Leo Tolstoy

"Any thought that is not filled with love seems unholy."
-André Gide

"Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you; pray for those who treat you spitefully."
-Jesus Christ

"Right now, we are appearing as the very light of consciousness, alive as love, although we may require some training, like an artist would, to fully offer our self as love's gift."
-David Deida from "Waiting to Love"

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
-Thoreau

"When I love, I love so much, it's dangerous."
-Nicole Kidman

"To love is to tilt with the lightning, two bodies routed by a single honey's
sweet."
-Pablo Neruda

When I think of you,
fireflies in the marsh rise
like the soul's jewels,
lost to eternal longing,
abandoning my body
-Izumi Shikibu

Pillowed on your thighs in a dream garden,
little flower with its perfumed stamen,
singing, sipping from the stream of you --
sunset, moonlight -- our song continues.

-Ikkyu Sojun

The places I work: part three

Yesterday, I worked at Insomnia Coffee Company.  This quirky, fun space is filled with other people on laptops, music, and really really good coffee. Like, Vienna levels of good coffee!

My favorite titles.

I wanted to talk about my favorite books on writing. Every author has her go-to's for inspiration and help, and here are mine.

How can one live without Joanna Russ's How to Suppress Women's Writing?

People love to denigrate our genre. This book gives an insightful and quirky look at how much and how little attitudes towards women's words have changed. It taught me just what kinds of horrible internalized sexism colored what I wrote, how I viewed other women, and worst of all, what I did to myself.



Making a Literary Life by Elizabeth See.
A far greater writer than I'll ever be says this:

If everyone who wants to be a writer would read this book there would be many more good writers, many more happy writers, and editors would be so overwhelmed by sweetness they would accept many more good books. So what are you waiting for? Read it! Ursula K. Le Guin

Write Away by Elizabeth George.
From Publisher's Weekly:

Here's a useful book for the novice writer battling the fears and insecurities that attend when she contemplates her first novel....George illustrates her points with passages from both her ownworks and those of numerous writers she admires (Martin Cruz Smith,Barbara Kingsolver, Louise Erdrich, Michael Dorris), this remains more of a how-I-do-it book than a how-to-do-it book. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Unlike PW, I'll say that this book is good even for experienced writers. I love her examples - they illustrate her points brilliantly.


I feel that the most important book on my shelf remains Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller. I'm not going to kid you - this is a painful and devastating book, whether you have been a victim of sexual assault or not. But it endlessly reminds me of what I feel is the great gift that romance gives every reader: That her pleasure is central to life, that her consent should never dismissed or belittled, and that each of us deserves to be heard.

What I'm up to.

(about 5'10" ha ha ha haaa)

Writing writing writing writing sleep laundry eat kiss writing writing writing FREAK OUT writing writing eat kiss repeat.

At this moment, I am freaking out, but I'll get back to the revisions in bit.

As an antidote, how about something pretty?

Where I'm at.

After cutting a total of 60 (A LOT) pages of Dracula's Secret, I started the serious layering on June 27th. So far, I've gone from 49,095 words (did I say I had cut a LOT?) to 55,135 words.  I think I've done good work on the first 1/3 of the book. I should on on my word count by the end of this month (my goal).

I think the book is much much stronger already.

(And I love parenthetical statements, just FYI)

Almost, but not quite there.

Here's a poem I've always liked and I think it's pretty good. It's just not...right yet.

Any thoughts?


My grief breaks me, I will not bend.

Really, what’s wrong with breaking?
Maybe the mighty oak was destined to break,
instead of bending like that stupid willow
(or reeds or whatever it was)
in the irritating fable we get
nagged with when sorrow strikes.

Breaking, the oak is transformed
to warm and cheer a dark night,
provide rest for the weary or
a place to meet and nourish the lonely and hungry.
The willow (or reeds or whatever) just wavers
unchanged, unusable, useless.


The oak and I will break and we both will be created anew.

Moving forward!

I had an amazing phone meeting with Kensington editor Audry LaFehr and her assistant, Martin Biro today.

They love my imagination, the relationship between Valerie and Lance, and how well the sex and violence work. They also said it was strong visual writing (woot!!).

They wanted to talk to me personally instead of through a letter in order to discuss what they thought needed work - basically, Dracula's Secret is very powerful, but also confusing. They suggested focusing more on the main romance, doing more with the secondary plots - ie what purpose do these characters have, etc.

So basically, I got the world's most awesome revise and resubmit phone call! Martin will be in town for Willamette Writer's conference, and he'd love to meet for dinner, too.

They made no promises, but said they loved my writing talent, wanted to give me lots of encouragement, and said that they very very rarely call an author to give her feedback.

I'm all verklempt!!

And now that my brain is tired...

Something outrageous.

I hereby promise to whatever publisher buys my book that I will buy these shoes and wear them to every book event for promoting Dracula's Secret.

I will be something like 6'3" in them, but what better way to grab attention that an over six-foot tall woman talking about naughty vampires?


Fendi Cinderella Runway Platform Sandals available via Saks Fifth Avenue.

Grooving to the baseline.

In my head, I never work hard enough and I never get enough done. I'm sick of it.

For the next two weeks, I am taking aim at my anxiety about 'working enough'. I'm going to overwhelm it with (get this) actual data on my work habits. I'm getting a baseline of behavior.

All I'm doing is keeping a simple log on

1. What I am doing: Am I in meetings? Updating my blog? Doing promotional work? First draft composition? Brainstorming?
   
2. How long I'm doing it: pretty self explanatory there. And
   
3. How I feel about the work. Basically, did I think I did ok work, good stuff, or Yowza! level material.
   

I've been doing it for three days so far, and I am already amazed by my real progress versus my imagined progress. My early prediction for this experiment is that I will find out just how much I downplay how productive I really am.

I'll keep you posted!

That whole tortured artist thing.

Some days when I feel like I'm not getting enough done, that my writing is weak, trite, and meaningless, that I'll never amount to much, I understand why writers have a stereotype of drinking too much.

Of course for me, drinking too much is two glasses of wine with dinner and then toddling off to bed early.

It lacks the flamboyant drama, but it's ever so much easier on my liver.

Scaring the hell out of myself.

Both Bob Mayer and Michael Hauge said many brilliant things this past weekend. Fortunately, I wrote them all down and I'll be able to work my way through them all.

The biggest lesson I got, though, really threw me for a loop.

You've got to go where the fear is, both your characters and yourself.

As the old saying goes, "If you have a character who is afraid of water, she'd better be in the ocean by Act Two."

As an author, I'm afraid of revealing too much of myself to my readers. Where does the line fall between pulling in real emotion and oversharing?

That scares me.

I guess that means I'd better go there.