Sweet, tasty love

As I daydream about my Weapons Dealer Woman, I wonder what kind of man would love her. Of course, her clients would attempt to seduce her - after all, wouldn't you expect your lover to give you an incredible discount on your order for a gross of Super Seekrit High Powered Killing Thing?

But that's not love - it certainly can be funny, and perhaps fun, but I don't think she'd enjoy getting laid, not paid.

True love comes when someone sees your essence - the person you have the potential to be if you had enough courage. What would he see in this woman who had already sold her soul for revenge? What would she see in him?

I think he's going to be pretty compromised himself. Perhaps he'd be on the opposite side of the law - sort of. Perhaps he'd be her competitor.

And couldn't you just see these two violent and dangerous people meeting in the local coffeehouse and getting to know each other over a couple of decaffeinated lattes?

Coffee dates amongst the corrupt and wealthy! Now there's a situation for my angry girl.

Down the rabbit hole

Ever since I posted my weapons dealer thoughts, I've been obsessed with the concept of a woman who deals arms. I haven't done any research into the world, I haven't looked at anything, but I keep going over and over what would drive a woman to an extreme career.

I followed my strange brain into this new character. While I was eating breakfast today, I jotted down her Goal, Motivation, and Conflict (previously here). I don't know what she would look like, what her name may be, or anything else. I was just playing with what kind of toll this would take on someone.

Character: Female Arms Dealer

Goal: Death.
Now, goals are supposed to be concrete, instead of vague. I mean, really - death? That's guaranteed for everybody. So I thought about it and decided she would want to destroy Warlord X. I think she'd start off wanting to kill him, but her character arc could be that she'd rather take away what he most loved (power? His drug fields? His alligator farm? Who knows yet?)

Motivation: Revenge
At first I thought she would want to avenge the deaths of her parents/family (shades of Melina Havelock from For Your Eyes Only). It's a pretty good idea, but I didn't want to get too trite. Perhaps Warlord X destroyed the school or hospital she worked at and she had to use a handgun to escape the devastation. Or someone she loved was ruined beyond healing by his actions.


Conflict: Stymied by agents of the law
This felt a bit weak to me at first, but it certainly introduces the hero! A hot, serious anti-terrorist guy? An agent from Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms? Her pissed off ex-boyfriend?

Sounds like a cool story, doesn't it?

Why I don't need to use illegal mood-altering substances.

This is an example of a random afternoon conversation in the Charming-Mercury household.

Me, arms full of clean laundry. I shout downstairs. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an arms dealer?"

The Charming Man in the kitchen. "No."

Pause.

The Charming Man. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Me, standing over the bannister, holding clean sheets.  "I just wonder if it would be a good career. You never run out of market. It's recession-proof. There is always new stock being developed and you don't have to pay for the R&D."

The Charming Man, being logical.  "I doubt you'd like your clientele much. And you'd have to learn about guns."

Me: "Yeah, that would be far too much work. I certainly couldn't make a living off of selling pointy sticks."

***

But now I'm stuck wondering what kind of person goes into the arms trade? The stereotype is that of a selfish, thoughtless person. Would he or she be redeemable? What motivates them to enter this job? Why deal in the business of war at all?

And this is why I don't do drugs. I think like this all the time. :)

Things I love: Part IV

Fresh, sweet, juicy peaches.

They taste like love. :)

Things I love: Part III

I love Nike of Samothrace. Even with no head and no arms, she is the very image of a powerful woman. In postcards and pictures on the Internet, she is eye-catching. In person, she is life changing.

Things I love: II

The most important love object in my life:

The Charming Man, here with my Charming Mother in Law.

Things I love.

The first year after a big loss is not the most pleasant time of one's life. But there are things that can make getting through the day much easier.

For me, that involves looking around at the world and seeing things I love. And in honor of today, here is the first thing I love.

This is the back of my National Coming Out Day t-shirt. Check that date out!

I love National Coming Out Day. Today is the day to celebrate who you really are. It's doesn't matter if you are a nervous heterosexual, today you can accept that it's ok that you are straight and and maybe realize that GLBTQ people aren't scary at all! 

Come out of the closet. There is a lovely big world out there.

Well, I'm home.

It's been a poignant couple of weeks. There has been a lot of crying, hugging, and sharing but still, I am incredibly fatigued and numb. So yeah, no writing going on.

In addition to the loss of my grandmother, I learned that my family of birth doesn't read my blog. It didn't surprise me - I've always been the oddball of the bunch (and that's pretty darn odd, considering our bunch). But it did sting.

I'm trying to soothe that sting. The best thing I've come up with is that I am free to say whatever the hell I want here. I could write about my intimate secrets - well, ok, not that I *want* to say that much about my private life, but I *could*!

My grandmother believed in me. The Charming Man and my family of choice believes in me. And that goes a long way towards making the world a better place.