Moving Slowly.

Last Friday, I visited the Tao of Tea in the Lan Su Chinese Garden. I drank chrysanthemum tea (good for sore throats and allergies), ate steamed dumplings, and then reveled in moon cakes. Moon cakes are a secret obsession of mine.

Outside in the Garden proper, two people were moving through Tai Chi forms. One was a tiny Chinese woman wearing a loose fitting pink martial arts uniform. The second was an older Chinese man who had been playing music for us in the Teahouse.

Tai Chi can be done quickly. But it is usually seen with slow, graceful movements

There is something truly beautiful about moving slowly. I'm always in a rush - afraid to miss anything before death comes for me. This fear drives me to exhaustion - I don't write fast enough, I don't dance enough, I don't give enough to my loved ones. It has ruled me all my life.

The idea of going slowly, of every move being clear and deliberate - is alien to me. I cannot slow down, no matter how much it hurts me.

But the Tai Chi artists outside in the sun- their movements were focused, strong, and deliberate. Somehow, they are getting to where ever it is they are going without fuss or bustle.

What would happen if I slowed down? Just the thought of it fills me with panic.

That panic is a good sign of something I need to try.  Does going slow tie in with my idea of Dare to be Average? Could there be a way to be ambitious without being tense?

I think it's a worthy experiment.

Dare to be Average, part two

"Ok, Ms. Smarty-Pants," I hear you saying, "How exactly does Dare to be Average work? If I don't push myself to succeed, I'd spend my time in slothful idleness, surrounded by clutter, and I'd never get anything done. This is what works for me."

Fair enough. Here's the scoop- I know exactly what you mean by "needing that motivation". Self castigation is a time-honored way of getting yourself off your duff.

The problem? Fear and self-loathing aren't effective long term motivators. A bit of self disgust might work now and again, but quite simply, it is not sustainable.

Calling yourself names (lazy, fat, disgusting, etc.) hurts more than it helps. I know that I work very poorly for a person who belittles, insults, and castigates me. In fact, I will actively avoid working for that person.

So why am I trying to motivate myself that way?

If I look at a project that I am resisting (like writing this blog post - I so did not want to do it), I realize that it is because I am using negative motivators. By thinking, "Fine. I will write an average blog post", I am freed. I can play, draft, and eventually post.

It's not a world shaking post, but it is here, it's done, and I got my point across. If I am for average as opposed to HEARTBREAKING, EARTHSHAKING, SUPER GENIUS, GUT-WRENCHING TRUTH, I have a much better chance of actually finishing something.

Next time you find yourself frozen with perfectionism, take a deep breath. Think, "Fine. Let's aim for average and see what happens."

I bet you'll surprise yourself.