Everything is connected.

Once I cleaned out my negative emotions and figured out what needed to be done, it's amazing how much clearer both my personal and business lives got. Hello, productivity!

We may have a lot of energy, but it is not infinite. A drain in one place will diminish how much you can spend in all the rest.

If I'm furious in my personal life, my writing will suffer.

Which, of course, drives me nuts, but that's the way it is. :)

The fire of anger.

I've got a nasty case of premenstrual tension this past week. Feelings that I've ignored or pretended to be healed are coming to the forefront - anger and resentment in particular. The Destructive emotions that are scary and for good reason. After all, who hasn't burned bridges they needed when burning with anger?

But this time, I'm doing something a little different. I'm taking that need to clean my emotional house and applying it to my writing. I'm getting in touch with my characters' wrath as well as my own.

It's not easy. It's not even all that fun. But it is very very necessary.

Sometimes destruction must happen before building.

Revisions

I'm revising Dracula's Secret (again). The first draft was a rambling, shambling monster with no clear plot or idea where I was going. I had some thoughts that I should try working from the seat of my pants.

Which is why I am now on my fourth set of revisions. *grin*

One of the most useful tools in a writer's toolbox is a little exercise called GMC.

For each of your main characters, you determine their Goal, Motivation, and Conflict.

The amazing Debra Dixon came up with this shorthand in her amazing book called (oddly enough), Goal, Motivation & Conflict: The Building Blocks of Good Fiction.

Let me show you one of the GMC charts that Ms. Dixon uses in the book - Rick Blaine from Casablanca.

Rick Blaine
Description: Cynical Loner
Tagline: (lessons he needs to learn)
One person can make a difference in this world
Women in war must make desperate choices (think of the newlywed)

Goals: (what he wants)
External

1. Keep bar open
2. Punish Ilsa
3. Get Ilsa and Victor on that plane

Internal

1. Regain the love he had in Paris
2. To do what's right in the world

Motivation: (because)
External

1. Needs money and people depend on him
2. Because she left him in Paris
3. Insure her safety
   

Internal

1. The pain of losing Ilsa has never gone away
2. Daily, he sees what war is doing to people around him

Conflict (but)
External

1. The French Prefect has all the power
2. Punishing her puts her in more danger
3. Victor has been put in jail

Internal

1. Ilsa is married
2. He must put aside his own happiness

Looks easy, doesn't it?

It's actually a difficult chart to fill out because you are constantly learning more about your characters and your story. I just did my fifth GMC for my leading characters. *facepalm*

But every time I do it, I learn something more. If I let it, it's exhilarating.

Back in the saddle again...

I've been visiting family and old friends for the past week, so forgive my lack of posting

I often think about the saying, "Travel is so broadening." And it's true.

No, I didn't gain weight. I gained wonderful images, conversations, and settings. I'm not much of a traveler, but I am always thrilled when I do. Kicking myself out of my comfort zone always makes for stronger, hotter, more thrilling writing.

Now, just to get down to it. That's always the hard part. :)

Surrounding yourself with heroes.

Books on writing are full of advice - some of it life-changing. Some are, how do I say this nicely?

Utter rubbish.

And sometimes, advice starts as one and turns into the other.

For example, when women try to lose weight, they are told to paste a picture of a slim person on the inside of their cupboard or on their refrigerator. I have always found this to be nasty, belittling, and condescending - yet another way of telling women that they are not beautiful and they will never measure up.

But we all need heroes. That's why we write, that's why we watch movies/TV, that's why we read. Everyone needs someone to show us that what we want is possible and how to get there.

So this week, I found pictures of my creative heroes and I've seeded them around my writing stations.

Obviously, I have a love for mythology and for the band Queen. Freddie, Brian, Roger, and John now live in glorious color on my laptop's wallpaper. Their music, politics, and courage never fail to lift me up when I'm feeling sluggish or stuck.

Jayne Ann Krentz, a wonderful best-selling author (and former librarian with a background in history!) is another of my heroes. I've met her in person a few times and she is down to earth, intelligent, and has great insights on our craft. If you do not own Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, you are shorting yourself some great discussion on Romance!

Emma Holly writes beautifully sexy and emotional fiction.

I've got lots. Who inspires you?

Hands on Research

By training and preference, I love research through the writer's traditional resources - print, photographs, online ready-reference.

This week, though, I got down and dirty with first hand experience. There are some things a girl just can not learn through other people's words.

Like how to shoot a firearm.

My good friend, a former Marine, graciously took me to a pistol range on Monday. There he patiently explained the handling of the four different pistols I ended up renting and shooting.

I learned what single action and double action meant, what the hammer did, how to hold the weapon, how to aim it, and finally, how to shoot it.

First came a revolver, the .38 Special. Next came two 9mm, a Sig and a Glock. Lastly, .45 Smith and Wesson.

Whenever I learn something new, the oddest things stick out at me. I didn't expect to be tossed around as much as I was. I'm not small, nor am I weak. But my thumbs and wrist still feel like they've been gnawed on!

Second, I was struck by the difference between the slow, accurate firing of the revolver and the faster, "throw a lot of bullets at it" feeling of the semi-automatics.

Handling something that has the sole purpose of killing something is an interesting mixture of fear and power. It's not unlike getting behind the wheel of a car, but with a less ambiguous reasoning. After all, a car is also transportation.

Will I ever own one? Unlikely.

Will I fire them again? Most likely.

Will I try other firearms, such as rifles? Again, most likely.

This is information I need to make my writing vigorous, strong, and real. Lots of times, writers put in characters who are not affected by their ability to kill, who almost seem to seek it out.

I've already learned this is not truthful. Those who understand the kind of power and responsibility that come with holding life and death in their hands are more likely to never want to use it.