Needs and Wants

One of the perennial flame wars of all time is *drum rolls*

Needs Vs. Wants.

(Say that in the Epic Rap Battles of History voice. It's pretty kicking)

I get really steamed when people say to someone,  "That's a WANT, not a NEED!" It's a way to dismiss someone's desires, be it for clean air, a hug, or a Ferrari. (or  Jaguar. Depending on your taste)

Most people will tell you that needs are only for survival - things like food, clothing, shelter, and breathing. Anything else is a want, and therefore frivolous.

The truth is, the only thing that matters is the question that comes after, "I want X" or "I want Y". That question is:

"For what?"

If I said, "I need a massage, lots of tea, a hot bath, and someone to brush my hair."

One of those "need" people would say, "Those are not needs, they are wants." They would think I was frivolous and wasteful, and I would think they were dumb-ass idiots with the IQ of a turnip. And we would both feel really miserable.

Well, if they had asked, "What for?", we could actually understand each other. I would answer, "If I don't get body work, stay hydrated, and have time with someone I trust, I turn into a pain-addled, depressive, angry hag."



The next time someone goes off about your wants/needs, ask yourself, "For what?"

It will stop the argument, create a better conversation, and save your sanity. :)

Quotes and snippets from Vamping It Up

Every so often, I like revisiting my books and choosing lines that I particularly like. Here are some from Vamping It Up.

Holly Barros hated her sex drive.

***

She would be a good girl. Like right now.

A good girl wouldn’t purse her lips in fascination at the muscles in another man’s shoulders as he dug a phone out of his back pocket. His enormous hand dwarfed the device. Wide, sensual fingers danced over the glass surface.

Big hands, big cock, Blaine’s werewolf cousins used to whisper when they watched soccer games and compared the players. He would have to have a horse dick to fit those broad hands. Her throat dried.

 ***

His outstretched hand was cool and dry as he helped her up from the couch. He placed his hands on her hips and guided her to his bedroom. “We have the time. I’m sure we can do it more than once. Math majors are fun that way.”

More than once? Wow.

“I’m not orgasmic,” she warned.

“I’m not goal oriented,” he replied.

***

Someone knocked on the door.

“Locksmith,” a voice called from the hallway.

“Coming,” Steven called back.

“No shit,” the locksmith yelled. “The whole building knows that.”

Steven laughed. She giggled, surprisingly proud of herself. Blaine could bite her. This is what really good sex was all about.

 ***

 Celeste’s hand left the camera frame and re-emerged with a full martini glass, complete with lemon twist. “My dear. There are no cures for a broken heart. But the best bandages are copious amounts of champagne, ridiculously expensive shoes, and a procession of nubile men.”

 ***

She wanted a life filled with pleasure. The big joys, too, like the epiphanies of generosity, not just bodily sensations such as food and drink and scent, but the sensuality of intellectual stimulation.

How many times had she come back from a challenging lecture on the politics of the emergence of the parallel court system ready to jump Blaine?

Cerebral pursuits turned her on.The corners of her mouth curved in delicious remembrance of Steven’s talented and curious body. Bliss and carnality and hedonism all conjoining with mental inspiration.

***

Being CEO of BarrosCorp was a difficult, demanding job. The long hours, endless travel, and the relentless pounding against the glass ceiling left Holly with certain needs. Animalistic, carnal, raw needs. Needs that were about to be met.

 ***

“And I see something that fits our vacation mood,” Celeste smiled. She beckoned to someone behind Holly. A perfectly ripped young man in a Roman gladiator outfit approached them, a golden tray of small bites on his shoulder. He stopped in front of the two women.
“Fruit, ladies? Chocolates, perhaps?”
“Some of us embrace the power of ‘and’.” Celeste said.

Fortune Cookies to the Rescue!

Like all authors, I keep a quote file. For today, I'm sharing a bunch of fortunes that I have saved.

Why fortune cookies? Well, I'm in the middle of a love scene for my work in progress, Curse of the Spider Woman, and I can't think of anything more creative. Sorry!

Pull the universe inside you. Make it your own.

The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.

Your enthusiasm inspires people.

Your sparkle will never fade.

Lastly:

Smile if you like this fortune cookie.

Flash Fiction!

I am participating in Baby Shoes: Celebrating Flash Fiction. And we have a Kickstarter!

What is this all about?

The Plan

The world needs more flash fiction anthologies, and we're here to do our little part to fill that need.

Our concept is simple: bring you 100 authors with 100 different voices in bites you can fully enjoy waiting in line, using the restroom or getting in a brief reading fix at the end of a busy and exhausting day. We're also hoping to introduce you to a writer or two you'll be happy to begin a lifelong relationship with.

Flash fiction is challenging, powerful and intense -- and underserved because it's a difficult business model to serve. That said, it's perfect for a crowdfunded project like this one.

The Money

We're looking for $1,800 to fully fund an e-book release.

• $900 for author payment and fulfillment
• $200 for cover art and design (we're getting a great deal from a pro we know)
• $300 for editing and publishing prep (again, we're getting a steal from a pro we know)
• $100 for promotion before and after the Kickstarter funds
• $100 for reward fulfillment (based on selling 100 copies)
• $200 for Amazon and Kickstarter fees (they take their bite)
• $150 for cost overruns (because $3,500 is a nice, round number)
  

Our stretch goal of $3,500 gives us enough money to produce a beautiful print copy of the book. Nearly all of that goes toward the cost of printing and shipping the physical tomes. 

Any money above our goal goes right into a profitable publishing venture -- and is shared with our authors.

The Promise

Our goal here is to celebrate flash fiction and the authors who create it. If we have to make a decision about the project, process or any money that comes with it, we will make that decision to serve the authors and story first.
For example, when our first Kickstarter campaign failed, we went to the authors and all voted on whether or not an e-release would be okay. That led to this e-release with a stretch goal model.

The dude even does push-ups for charity.

Risks and challenges

Jason Brick (Executive Editor) has published more than a half-dozen books on his own and advises others on the same. Before working as a writer, he ran brick-and-mortar businesses for almost 15 years. He has the project management chops to make this work.

By far the biggest risk is the number of moving parts: 100 authors and 100 stories leaves lots of room for stuff to go wrong. In fact, we're planning for late turn-ins, people flaking out and even plagiarism. Our timeline and budget leave room for those problems.

If things go badly wrong, we will find replacement authors and push back the release date. No matter what happens, there will be a book and you will get all the rewards you've been promised.

Donate here!

Blast from the Past: 2013 Resolutions

Back in 2013, some of my fellow writers and I did a series of blog tours. We talked about our goals for the new year on each other's blogs. Here is my post on the topic of Creating a Literary Life.

My favorite book on writing, bar none, is Making a Literary Life, by Elizabeth See. The section she wrote on rejection is life changing. I wanted to discuss it today, but I’d have to quote the whole damn thing, and that was way too much copyright infringement, even for me.

Instead, I’m going to discuss her chapter on making the magic, going beyond the words on the page, and into creating the life that makes you shine.

I can’t say it better than she does, so here it is.

Any philanthropist knows that the more money she gives, the more she’ll get back; any volunteer knows that hour spent in a good cause give us golden time. We all know, at some level, that stinginess doesn’t work.

If you start giving away what you want, you give the universe a nudge – you get the cosmic Jell-O trembling.

If you feel you don’t have enough love in your life (no writer, art6ist, human being can exist without love), don’t go around trying to steal it at low bars from impressionable young men and women: Try giving it away, in a blaze of affection, compliments and hugs. Start with your musty old grandma, your lumpy wife, your doltish dad: hugs and compliments- because you have so much love in your bank that you can afford to give it away, lavishly and recklessly.

So what are you waiting for? The best part of the literary and creative life is giving away what you most want. 

Blast from the Past: Playing with the Tarot

Back on December 12 of 2013, I did a cool blog post about creating my mission statement. And I liked this post so much, I thought I'd re-run it!

*****

 There is something about the winter season that makes me want to hermit up. I decided I might as well roll with it, so this morning, I did a  Tarot spread.

 My deck is the Visconti-Sforza deck, a 15th century deck, and one that I find the most beautiful.

I'm not a big Tarot chick - I find it a fun way to play with brainstorming, dream up psychological insights, and of course, work on archetypes. 

I found a spread called Create a Vision Statement in Barbara Moore's book, Tarot Spreads.
Super fun!

The spread looks like this: 

2     3

   1

4     5

Position One is who you are, Two is what you do, Three is how you do it, Four is who you do it for, and Five is the benefits to your clients/audience. 

And this is my very cool mission statement!

I discover and bring to life bold stories of adventure and passion for lovers and dreamers so we can create options for a better world. 

 *happy dances*

What is *your* mission statement?

(I drew the Eight of Wands, the Knight of Wands, the King of Wands, Two of Cups, and the Nine of Cups, if you are curious)l