No Guilty Pleasures

This morning, I woke, remembering the feel of an ex-lover’s skin under my lips. It was the thin, warm, tender skin of the crook of his neck. I could hear the sound of his panting and the way he fit between my legs. 

I wanted nothing more than to call him, to beg him to meet me in a lovely hotel for one more rendezvous. 

You know what? It was okay for me to feel this way. I didn’t need to feel guilty because I missed someone I had once (still) cared for deeply. 

One of the myths of a committed relationship is that you can never remember or dream of someone else. Your sexuality now belongs to your partner. 

It doesn’t. You get to have your lawless desires. You get to fantasize and orgasm from thinking of whom ever you want. 

(Need I say that desiring some one does not give you permission to be a jerk to your main squeeze?)

My delicious dream stayed with me. It brought great pleasure to my day to think on such sensuous activity. I had a glide in my stride and a dip in my hip, as Parliament/Funkadelic would say. Instead of beating myself up for my unconscious brain, thinking that perhaps I had inadvertently cheated on My Charming Man in my dreams, I allowed it to be a joy, a delight in the person who had been the focus of my passion. 

I refuse to feel guilty for any of my pleasures. I hope this gives you permission to savor your pleasures, too.  

Kisses, Tony Stark. Even now, you bring me great delight.

#MyFinal24 for Alexandra Franzen!

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My friend Alexandra Franzen has written a new book - So This Is The End: a love story. 

The central question of the book is, "If you had just 24 hours to live, what would you do with your time?"

Of course, my brain went into overtime thinking of what I'd do for my final twenty-four.



1. The first thing I'd do is check on my legal documents. I want to make sure my loved ones have all the information they need to have a good life after I am gone.

2. I'd make love to the Charming Man. *hearts*

3. I'd write love notes to my friends and family so they would know how much they have meant to me. Heck, I'd write The One I Had To Say Goodbye To, just to let them know that they had made my life a better place.

4. I'd sneak a few love notes into the Charming Man's drawers and desk. Something to make him smile!

5. I'd make love to the Charming Man. (He better have taken his vitamins)

6. I'd put my money where my mouth is. I take a lump sum of money and just hand it out to people higgley-piggly. We all deserve a windfall. We all deserve some unexpected blessings. And I would want one of my final acts to be one that brought joy to the world.

7. Then I'd invite everyone I could over to my house and I would have a huge party. Lots of dancing, lots of crazy costumes, exquisite food, games, hugs, kisses, cuddles, and soulful talks. Maybe sneak in some lovemaking with the Charming Man. We would play all night long, because play feeds the body, mind, and soul.

Whew! That's a full 24 hours. What would be on your list?