One of the perennial flame wars of all time is *drum rolls*
Needs Vs. Wants.
(Say that in the Epic Rap Battles of History voice. It's pretty kicking)
I get really steamed when people say to someone, "That's a WANT, not a NEED!" It's a way to dismiss someone's desires, be it for clean air, a hug, or a Ferrari. (or Jaguar. Depending on your taste)
Most people will tell you that needs are only for survival - things like food, clothing, shelter, and breathing. Anything else is a want, and therefore frivolous.
The truth is, the only thing that matters is the question that comes after, "I want X" or "I want Y". That question is:
"For what?"
If I said, "I need a massage, lots of tea, a hot bath, and someone to brush my hair."
One of those "need" people would say, "Those are not needs, they are wants." They would think I was frivolous and wasteful, and I would think they were dumb-ass idiots with the IQ of a turnip. And we would both feel really miserable.
Well, if they had asked, "What for?", we could actually understand each other. I would answer, "If I don't get body work, stay hydrated, and have time with someone I trust, I turn into a pain-addled, depressive, angry hag."
The next time someone goes off about your wants/needs, ask yourself, "For what?"
It will stop the argument, create a better conversation, and save your sanity. :)
