Coping with crippling self doubt

I post about self-doubt and fell prey to it. Damn it!

I might as well post some emotional tools to deal with this insidious, hissing critic voice.

The best cure for self-doubt is not to macho it out or to force yourself to do what you 'should' do. I've said it again, and I'll say it over and over until I get it - no one works well with someone screaming hateful words in their ears. The best motivator is kindness.

Instead of trying to overcome the enemy by yourself, call in the reinforcements. Who thinks you rock? Who thinks you are gonna make it and make it big?  Who in your life sees the very best of you?

In short, who thinks you are the best things since four wheel brakes?

If you don't feel safe with any of the people around you, make some imaginary friends. They don't mean you are crazy, it means you are surviving until you find a better place. Think of a no-nonsense but kind coach, a wise older mentor, the perfect grandparent, a character in a movie, *anyone* who can access your best interests.

Once you are past the panic/crisis phase, you can use your self-doubt as a compass to point you in the right direction. Imagine yourself in a safe, comfortable place. Think of your self doubt and ask it, "What is it you really want? What is all this about?"

Nearly always, I get a useful answer. It might want me to work on my pacing in my writing. It might want me to demand better treatment from a situation or person who is making me feel that unease. It has even pointed out that I need more sleep, better food, and a whole lot more fun!

Sometimes I don't have enough mojo to even get the call for help out. Then I reach for this book:

It's very practical and specific, unlike many self-help books. If you are stuck in your sad place, it can be a great assistance to find your fine, sweet self again.

Crippling self doubt

Self-doubt attacks everyone in the world. My experience is just like yours.

It starts with unease around your creativity.

Something in your world is not right. It might be a big crisis such as a death in your family, an ecological disaster, joblessness or divorce, and the ensuing poverty of these tragedies.

Your crisis is smaller and subtler, but it still cripples you. Perhaps everyone around you is suffering and there is nothing you can do to help them. Maybe your sleep schedule gets mucked up, or you experience a shift in your intimated relationships.

Trying to be productive under these circumstances *hurts*. And since people rightly avoid what is painful, they go to step two - procrastination. 

After all, what is the good of something as frivolous as writing your little shameful romance stories when the world is exploding?

Putting off your dream can lead to panic and second guessing.

Did you make the right decision to set aside the stuff that brings out the best of you? Shouldn't you be able to keep working no matter what? All you have to do is "force yourself to do it".

This panic churns your stomach, makes your sleep worse. I can tell you from personal experience that sleep deprivation is an untold horror. In a particularly bad part of my life, I experienced both olfactory and auditory hallucinations. My heart didn't stop racing, and I was constantly nauseated from the lack of sleep. Yet, through it all, I constantly demanded that I keep up my work schedule.

This leads to despair, that tar pit of sorrow.  You can barely leave your rooms. Despair drags at your limbs, saps you of vitality. You try to do something, anything, but you feel like you are wading through cold molasses.

It's very easy to lose all hope. In Part Two, I'm going to throw you some rope so we can pull each other out of these energy sucking cycles.