Self-Care: Retreats

The Forest Grove Grand Lodge.

A retreat is a form of radical self-care. It's not always (or usually) possible. If you are in financial tough times, I recommend getting a cheap notebook and scoping some time during your lunch break to empty your brain into it.

You get some time away from your normal schedule and develop your ability to see the trends and patterns that are good for you.


 Back in November of 2016, I took a two-day retreat to clarify my life and my writing. Here in the Pacific Northwest, we have a local chain of brew-pubs and hotels called McMenamins.

Buy it HERE.

I went to the Forest Grove Grand Lodge. Here I had several hours to journal, soak, think, and write. (Yeah, and take lots of pictures of the awesome artwork.) I finished my upcoming novella, Keeping It Up (to be released in January 2017), a sequel to Vamping It Up.

Retreats are perfect for refreshing your intelligent, sexy, and curious selves. (If I may be so immodest, allow me to recommend Vamping It Up as a great retreat book!) 

Ok, back on track.

If you can, find a place that is really pretty.

Explore your environment.

You get some time away from your normal schedule and develop your ability to see the trends and patterns that are good for you.





What feeds your head and your soul the best? Written words? Visual Art? Music? Scent? I like to check out art books from the library and read them for a mini-retreat if I don't have time for a proper get-away. 

Isn't this the perfect place to dream?

Gorgeous view out those windows.

McMenamins' locations are known for their whimsical art.

Serious Whimsy.

This was on the ceiling of my room.

A little face to watch over my fire alarm.

My room number: I was almost James Bond.

Welcome back!

Me, confused and irritated.

Hello, again! I've taken the last few months for a complete re-working of my blog direction. Since I started this blog in 2009 (wow! SEVEN YEARS of blogging), I've been scattershot, talking about what catches my eye for the moment.

I found myself getting irritated with that approach. I wanted to be more focused, more dynamic. I looked through my life and saw some themes that I want to explore.

Beauty is everywhere.

I believe that self-care, self-love, and beauty are necessities. I want my blog to reflect strategies and thoughts on how to bring more of these into our lives.

Audre Lord, spelling it out for us.

I want everyone to be able to create the literary life they want. I think we should be able to have a live that is harmonious between our make-a-living day and our dreams, especially for women. Double especially for women of color.

This will be a space for the curious, the sex-positive, and the explorer.

Lucy, the mother of us all.

Let's play!

Back in the saddle.

Buy HERE

The last month has been rough on me. As a result of my push to finish Curse of the Spider Woman, I ignored my body's warning signals and ended up with nerve damage in my hip. Leg numbness and tingling has resulted. As a result of the chronic pain and discomfort, I'd fallen into a depression.


After several months of hoping it would go away, I finally went to a physical therapist. I'm slowly getting better, and that means I'm slowly feeling my mojo coming back. To kick start the whole process, I've taken a short retreat to the Oregon Coast.

Haystack Rock

 To the right is my view from my hotel room. The big monolith is Haystack Rock, the little guys are called (get this), The Needles. Oregonians are pretty funny, no?

Cool sand and oil patterns

Couldn't seem to prevent getting in the water.

World's comfiest pants from Kim Sakkara, natch.

Something about the waves and the wind help me find where my boundaries are broken.

Slowly finding my smile again.

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath, part two

Back in 2010, I actually got to experience a Turkish Bath. Here is a retelling of that visit in a letter I wrote to a friend.

***

Power Girl! I have come to the conclusion that the hamam is the cure for all the world's ills.

First, some nice lady pours hot water all over you as you sit on a heated marble floor. Then you lay on the hot marble in wet, fabulous bliss.

You can turn over as you need as the warmth soaks into your aching, travel-weary body.  She comes back in with soap and a exfoliating mitt and scrubs you all over, front and back, so that your skin is incredibly smooth and clean.

This is not fast, either. It's thorough and complete relaxation.

You get rinsed by more hot, clean water splashed over you.

This feels like heaven.

Then you realize that heaven is even cooler than you thought, because you get a massage with the soap suds. The soap and water is so thick and bubbly that your massage is slick and relaxes every damn part of yourself.

Finally, she washes your hair.

At the end, you ooze your boneless way back to your little room and try to remember how to put on clothes.

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath

 Cagaloglu Hamam in Istanbul

As an erotic writer, I have to stay in touch with my body. As a functioning human being, so do you.

Which leads me to a new, occasional series here at my blog - The Pleasure Center. We will explore ways to listen to our bodies and expand our pleasure repertoires.Why? Because when we are relaxed and comfortable, we have the stamina to make the world a better place.

One of the most pleasurable of my experiences has been the hamam aka the Turkish bath. All these pictures are from the Cagaloglu Hamam in Istanbul.

Now, very few of us can afford to have a huge, heated marble slab in our bathrooms, complete with misty steam and beautiful sky-lights.

Behold, the soap massage!

Now that I've teased you with all the beauty within, the next installment of The Pleasure Center will be what actually happens at a Turkish Bath.

Book Locations: The Drake Hotel.

My current work-in-progress involves travel (as all my books do). The heroine starts in Chicago, Illinois, and ends up in Athens and Delphi, in Greece. As part of my preparation to write, I like to collect maps, photographs, and descriptions of my locations.

My first location is the Drake Hotel, a long-time fixture of the Chicago Gold Coast. For me, it has long been the epitome of luxury, style, and class.

So of course, I had to set a scene where my hero receives his top-secret orders and his weapons on a secret floor. Something like this:

Obviously, I need to go to the Drake and get some of my own photos!

(The following clip has nothing to do with the Drake, so just think of it as a bonus yummy for the day.:)

The Bohemian Life: Travel to Santa Barbara, CA

In my little world view, the basic necessity to live a Bohemian life is to travel. I never thought I would be able to travel as much as I have in the last five years. It is glorious, freeing, life-changing, and mind-expanding. I learn something no matter where I go, be it nearby or overseas.

My latest travel adventure took me to Santa Barbara, California, for the wedding of two dear friends. What better reason to travel than to celebrate love?

I loved this little fountain, tucked away in the property where the bride and groom stayed.

Overlooking the beach.

Sneaking away to clamber the cliffs.

Doing my best world traveler face.

Spring on the Harbor.

The Bohemian Life

Darla's sweet and smart short story

Darla Luke, a wr.iter of formidable insight, told me that I had a Bohemian life.

And I went, "Me?? No way." After all, a bohemian travels the world, dyes her hair crazy colors, has an eclectic and varied family of choice, and wears funky, sassy clothes.

 

 

Funky color green

Talk about a moment of clarity. I grew up in a very small town in Northern Illinois. There was a strong tendency toward, shall we say, conformity. I never once believed I would go overseas, write books, or even live in a beautiful city.

Visiting Amsterdam

Visiting the Louvre! 

I still can't believe I went to Istanbul!!

The best adventure of all: The Charming Man.

Pompeii.

Eh. I'm too tired to write anything intelligent and carefully researched. Have some pictures of Pompeii.

The best tasting octupus ever.

The Flaming Chef and Dr. Snickerdoodle outside the amphitheater.

Mosaic from a wine bar/lunch counter

The dogs of Pompeii were very fat and happy.

The city baths.

Dr. Snickerdoodle as the barkeep!

The ruts in the streets from the carts.

The House of the Faun.

More wicked cool mosaics.

One of the victims of Vesuvius.