Monday, February 23, 2015

Needs and Wants

One of the perennial flame wars of all time is *drum rolls*
Needs Vs. Wants.

(Say that in the Epic Rap Battles of History voice. It's pretty kicking)

I get really steamed when people say to someone,  "That's a WANT, not a NEED!" It's a way to dismiss someone's desires, be it for clean air, a hug, or a Ferrari. (or  Jaguar. Depending on your taste)

Most people will tell you that needs are only for survival - things like food, clothing, shelter, and breathing. Anything else is a want, and therefore frivolous.

The truth is, the only thing that matters is the question that comes after, "I want X" or "I want Y". That question is:

"For what?"

If I said, "I need a massage, lots of tea, a hot bath, and someone to brush my hair."

One of those "need" people would say, "Those are not needs, they are wants." They would think I was frivolous and wasteful, and I would think they were dumb-ass idiots with the IQ of a turnip. And we would both feel really miserable.

Well, if they had asked, "What for?", we could actually understand each other. I would answer, "If I don't get body work, stay hydrated, and have time with someone I trust, I turn into a pain-addled, depressive, angry hag."

The next time someone goes off about your wants/needs, ask yourself, "For what?"

It will stop the argument, create a better conversation, and save your sanity. :)

Monday, February 16, 2015

Quotes and snippets from Vamping It Up

Every so often, I like revisiting my books and choosing lines that I particularly like. Here are some from Vamping It Up.

Holly Barros hated her sex drive.
She would be a good girl. Like right now.

A good girl wouldn’t purse her lips in fascination at the muscles in another man’s shoulders as he dug a phone out of his back pocket. His enormous hand dwarfed the device. Wide, sensual fingers danced over the glass surface.

Big hands, big cock, Blaine’s werewolf cousins used to whisper when they watched soccer games and compared the players. He would have to have a horse dick to fit those broad hands. Her throat dried.
His outstretched hand was cool and dry as he helped her up from the couch. He placed his hands on her hips and guided her to his bedroom. “We have the time. I’m sure we can do it more than once. Math majors are fun that way.”

More than once? Wow.

“I’m not orgasmic,” she warned.

“I’m not goal oriented,” he replied.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Locksmith,” a voice called from the hallway.

“Coming,” Steven called back.

“No shit,” the locksmith yelled. “The whole building knows that.”

Steven laughed. She giggled, surprisingly proud of herself. Blaine could bite her. This is what really good sex was all about.
 Celeste’s hand left the camera frame and re-emerged with a full martini glass, complete with lemon twist. “My dear. There are no cures for a broken heart. But the best bandages are copious amounts of champagne, ridiculously expensive shoes, and a procession of nubile men.”

She wanted a life filled with pleasure. The big joys, too, like the epiphanies of generosity, not just bodily sensations such as food and drink and scent, but the sensuality of intellectual stimulation.

How many times had she come back from a challenging lecture on the politics of the emergence of the parallel court system ready to jump Blaine?

Cerebral pursuits turned her on.The corners of her mouth curved in delicious remembrance of Steven’s talented and curious body. Bliss and carnality and hedonism all conjoining with mental inspiration.
Being CEO of BarrosCorp was a difficult, demanding job. The long hours, endless travel, and the relentless pounding against the glass ceiling left Holly with certain needs. Animalistic, carnal, raw needs. Needs that were about to be met.

“And I see something that fits our vacation mood,” Celeste smiled. She beckoned to someone behind Holly. A perfectly ripped young man in a Roman gladiator outfit approached them, a golden tray of small bites on his shoulder. He stopped in front of the two women.
“Fruit, ladies? Chocolates, perhaps?”
“Some of us embrace the power of ‘and’.” Celeste said.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Fortune Cookies to the Rescue!

Like all authors, I keep a quote file. For today, I'm sharing a bunch of fortunes that I have saved.

Why fortune cookies? Well, I'm in the middle of a love scene for my work in progress, Curse of the Spider Woman, and I can't think of anything more creative. Sorry!

Pull the universe inside you. Make it your own.

The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.

Your enthusiasm inspires people.

Your sparkle will never fade.

Smile if you like this fortune cookie.

Monday, February 2, 2015

The most important books for writing romance.

My favorite titles.

I wanted to talk about my favorite books on writing. Every author has her go-to's for inspiration and help, and here are mine.

How to Suppress Women's Writing

How can one live without Joanna Russ's How to Suppress Women's Writing?

People love to denigrate our genre. This book gives an insightful and quirky look at how much and how little attitudes towards women's words have changed. It taught me just what kinds of horrible internalized sexism colored what I wrote, how I viewed other women, and worst of all, what I did to myself.

Making a Literary Life

Making a Literary Life by Elizabeth See.
A far greater writer than I'll ever be says this:
If everyone who wants to be a writer would read this book there would be many more good writers, many more happy writers, and editors would be so overwhelmed by sweetness they would accept many more good books. So what are you waiting for? Read it! Ursula K. Le Guin

Write Away: One Novelist's Approach to Fiction and the Writing Life

Write Away by Elizabeth George.
From Publisher's Weekly:
Here's a useful book for the novice writer battling the fears and insecurities that attend when she contemplates her first novel....George illustrates her points with passages from both her ownworks and those of numerous writers she admires (Martin Cruz Smith,Barbara Kingsolver, Louise Erdrich, Michael Dorris), this remains more of a how-I-do-it book than a how-to-do-it book. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Unlike PW, I'll say that this book is good even for experienced writers. I love her examples - they illustrate her points brilliantly.

I feel that the most important book on my shelf remains Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller. I'm not going to kid you - this is a painful and devastating book, whether you have been a victim of sexual assault or not. But it endlessly reminds me of what I feel is the great gift that romance gives every reader: That her pleasure is central to life, that her consent should never dismissed or belittled, and that each of us deserves to be heard.

Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape