The Pleasure Center: Little Sexy Workbook #2

Sacher Torte is very civilized. And sexy.

Let's get started on having the love life you want. :) I recommend having this conversation over Sacher Torte and coffee with whipped cream. There is nothing like creating a luscious life over a luscious dessert.

First, ask yourself, what is currently working in your intimate life?

Do you split the chores well? Do you enjoy telling your honey how awesome they are? Do you cuddle well? How's that kissing going?

Praise what is going well. Spend some time praising your lover. For example:

• "You get me so hot when you lick my ear/come up behind me and nuzzle my shoulder/walk around in a towel/wear good undies/___________."
•  "I want to make sure you know that I think you are the sexiest person ever."



Gregg Homme makes sexy, sexy undies. *swoon*




•  "I like pleasuring you. It's the most fun I can think of."

Remember, these are compliments. Give them freely, lavishly, lovingly, without expectations.

Next time, I'll tell you how to gather those compliments together and write a super duper love letter.

Go out there and get thinking about love, sex, and pleasure!

The Pleasure Center: The Little Sexy Workbook.

I recently released a handy book called The Little Sexy Workbook. I wrote it because talking about your desires can be crazy difficult. It breaks my heart when people tell me their secret fantasies that they believe they can't tell their partners.

They confess these stories as if they were unpinned hand-grenades tamed only by a white-knuckle grasp on the handle.

And I want to help.

In this series in The Pleasure Center, I'm going to give advice on how to have the open, free, fun, playful sex life you want.


Next week, we'll get going on how to put the pin back in the grenade and make your sex life awesome!

To buy the Little Sexy Workbook:
At Amazon
Barnes and Noble

Query: It's random question time!

Welcome to Query, a new series here at my blog! I love reading conversation-starting questions- so why not share?

And here is the Query for today:

If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5000 and said, "Help me solve a problem, any problem!" - What would you do with her?

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath, part 3

I don't know any people who can afford their own heated marble slab and bath attendants (If I did, I surely wouldn't be sitting at my computer right now. I'd be visiting them!).

The best any of us can do is fake the experience in our own bathrooms.

It does help if you have a bath tub, but even shower aficionados can enjoy Turkish-accented bathing.

If you want to spend money, here are some fabulous things to add to your bath.

Turkish Towels aka pestemals are thin towels made of silk, cotton, linen or a blend. They dry fast, they dry you off even when they are wet, and don't turn into huge, heavy, dripping messes when they get soaked. I love mine. I travel with them as they can be used as a sarong, a sheet, or a blanket. But if you are broke, your regular towels will work just fine. :)

A kese or exfoliating bath mitt is the cheapest bath luxury you will ever experience. It's my favorite way to scrub and it is better for your skin and the environment than plastic puffs. Your skin will feel as soft as a baby's when you use a kese. This is the most essential part of faking a Turkish bath on your own.

The dipping bowl adds a sense of real luxury to your bath. Just dip the bowl in the water and pour it over your head or your limbs or your body. The cascade will still your mind and soothe your body. Yes, you can use a plain ol' bowl for this. Just don't use anything glass! Broken glass is not pleasurable under any circumstances.

What do you add to your bathing routines to increase your pleasure?

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath, part two

Back in 2010, I actually got to experience a Turkish Bath. Here is a retelling of that visit in a letter I wrote to a friend.

***

Power Girl! I have come to the conclusion that the hamam is the cure for all the world's ills.

First, some nice lady pours hot water all over you as you sit on a heated marble floor. Then you lay on the hot marble in wet, fabulous bliss.

You can turn over as you need as the warmth soaks into your aching, travel-weary body.  She comes back in with soap and a exfoliating mitt and scrubs you all over, front and back, so that your skin is incredibly smooth and clean.

This is not fast, either. It's thorough and complete relaxation.

You get rinsed by more hot, clean water splashed over you.

This feels like heaven.

Then you realize that heaven is even cooler than you thought, because you get a massage with the soap suds. The soap and water is so thick and bubbly that your massage is slick and relaxes every damn part of yourself.

Finally, she washes your hair.

At the end, you ooze your boneless way back to your little room and try to remember how to put on clothes.

The Pleasure Center: The Turkish Bath

 Cagaloglu Hamam in Istanbul

As an erotic writer, I have to stay in touch with my body. As a functioning human being, so do you.

Which leads me to a new, occasional series here at my blog - The Pleasure Center. We will explore ways to listen to our bodies and expand our pleasure repertoires.Why? Because when we are relaxed and comfortable, we have the stamina to make the world a better place.

One of the most pleasurable of my experiences has been the hamam aka the Turkish bath. All these pictures are from the Cagaloglu Hamam in Istanbul.

Now, very few of us can afford to have a huge, heated marble slab in our bathrooms, complete with misty steam and beautiful sky-lights.

Behold, the soap massage!

Now that I've teased you with all the beauty within, the next installment of The Pleasure Center will be what actually happens at a Turkish Bath.