Men, women, and sex: It's not quid pro quo.

A long time ago, my mother told me that men traded love in order to have sex and that women traded sex in order to have love. In other words, men will put up with cuddling and speaking gentle words as long as the woman allows him access to her vagina. Likewise, she will tolerate his thrusting for what she really wants - companionship and warmth.

My mother was a wise and generous woman.  Throughout her far too short life, she had given me a great deal of stellar advice. In this case, though, I intuitively knew this was complete bull-pucky.

This belief turns a lover's trailing caress into a transaction, bought and paid for. Not a shared pleasure, not in invitation to play or share, but an exchange best for a brothel.  I could feel it in my teenaged bones - if you treat your partner like a prostitute, it will lead to resentment, anger, and the death of something that once was joyful and a source of delight.

Quite frankly, a real prostitute gets more respect from the open exchange of money than anyone involved in the hostile exchange described above.

A brothel picture from Pompeii.

The nastiest part of that saying? It's an insidious belief, one that is not spoken of directly. Instead, it lurks in our unspoken assumptions, leading us into a starvation economy of affection, touch, and attention.

I want lovers to come to each other for pleasure, a sharing of passion and excitement.  I'm doing my best to destroy this pernicious saying.

And I want you to help me. Tell me what stereotypes about love and relationships you want to eliminate.

An army travels on its stomach.

Unfortunately, The U.S. Navy SEAL Guide to Fitness and Nutrition doesn't have any pictures of yummy men, but what an awesome resource for my straight arrow hero!

Since the Seals are a male-only force, the book is of limited use to women, but come on! How often do you get to read articles titled, "Nutritional Considerations for Endurance Activities"?  With tables named "Table 11-3. Typical Land Warfare"?

Many years ago, I read a monograph on the food needs of Alexander the Great's campaigns. I need to find it again and compare it to the statistics in here.